Archives For Silliness

Waiting For Wife….

July 24, 2014 — 7 Comments

2014-07-03_08-05-24

I had to clip this from a post of a friend on Facebook. One of the duties I didn’t know a husband had before I got married almost three decades ago was waiting for your wife. Shopping is just one of those areas where waiting is called for. When I go to a store I usually have a list of what I want. I find those particular things and then am ready to check out. My wife has a different strategy. She can spend 20 minutes looking at purses even though she has no need for a new one and doesn’t intend to buy one.  She could easily spend two or more hours in the store and leave with nothing. For that reason my wife and I seldom go shopping together anymore.

Another thing is that when dinner is ready she disappears for several minutes. I do most of the cooking for us and announce “dinner is on the table”. She usually comes in within a couple of minutes and then promptly disappears. Where she goes I don’t really know but I end up waiting for her while the food gets cold.

Waiting should be in some husband’s book of instructions to forewarn us naive suitors. They say patience is a virtue and you will need a lot of it waiting for your wife….

 

 

Requirements….

June 24, 2014

2014-06-06_09-54-41I wonder how many people know the requirements to be a member of the U.S. congress? I must admit that I didn’t until I looked them up for this post.  As usual here is what Wikipedia says about this topic.

U.S. House

Qualifications: Article I, Section 2 of the Constitution sets three qualifications for representatives. Each representative must:

(1) be at least twenty-five years old

2) have been a citizen of the United States for the past seven years

(3) be (at the time of the election) an inhabitant of the state they represent.

Members are not required to live in the district they represent, but they traditionally do.

U.S. Senate

Qualifications: Article I, Section 3 of the Constitution sets three qualifications for senators:

1) they must be at least 30 years old

2) they must have been citizens of the United States for at least the past nine years

3) they must be inhabitants of the states they seek to represent at the time of their election

There only seems to be one thing that disqualifies a person from office and that is spelled out in the fourteenth Amendment and says a federal or state officer who takes the requisite oath to support the Constitution, but later engages in rebellion or aids the enemies of the United States, is disqualified from becoming a representative. This post–Civil War provision was intended to prevent those who sided with the Confederacy from serving…

There are more requirements to get your driver’s license than there is to be in congress.. So it seems that almost anyone beyond their teen years can be chosen as a representative. That in itself might explain why that institution is so dysfunctional.  I wonder how that body would change if we set up a few more qualifications?

There are 230 lawyers out of the total of 535 representatives in congress. They make up 43% of the total office holders. That kind of explains much of the mentality of this institution. It explains why they want to constantly litigate everything and why winning is the only thing important.

Wouldn’t it be interesting to see what would happen if we made being a lawyer a disqualification for membership. Maybe people there would start talking to each other instead of filing briefs to argue over. Wouldn’t it be interesting to try this noble experiment???

OK, now don’t start flaming me too quickly as this post is mostly in jest. But isn’t there an ounce of truth to it??

 

 

 

2014-05-28_08-05-59Tea Party cruises to wins in Texas Republican primary runoffs

Texas Republicans aligned with Tea Party darling Ted Cruz were projected to win primary runoffs on Tuesday for two of the state’s most powerful posts,

SOURCE: Tea Party cruises to wins in Texas Republican primary runoffs – Yahoo News.

What makes Texas so different from the rest of the U.S.? They seem to be off the edge in so much of what they do.

Maybe its the water? They have lots of two foot deep reservoirs built by a Democrat LBJ while he was in Washington. Maybe they have a one-of-a-kind fungus that affects the brain.

Maybe it is all that dust and sage brush? – I have been to Texas several times. A few of those trips were by car and I can say Texas is mostly parched land and sagebrush. Maybe something about that affects people?

Maybe it is those longhorn cattle? – You just don’t see those cows anywhere else.

I just don’t know what makes people who live there as strange as they are.  When the company I was working for shut down the Indianapolis facilities I moved to New Jersey for four years to finish out my pension.  My best friend of a couple of decades moved to Texas. But something happened to him and his wife. We kept in touch for a few years but their strange behavior caused us to go our separate ways.  We visited them once but they were just not the same people they were. Another glaring thing was that the house they lived in, although recently new construction, was falling apart. There were cracks in the walls, molding coming loose, paint peeling and the strange thing was they didn’t even seem to notice?

Ted Cruz seems to be the darling of so many of those folks. I just can’t understand that! What is it about Texas?

Sitting Pretty….

May 1, 2014

Corporation“This country is a thousand times bigger than any two men in it, or any two parties in it. These big politicians are so serious about themselves and their parties. This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super-nation. If by some divine act of Providence we could get rid of both parties and hired some good men, like any other big business does, why we would be sitting pretty.” – Will Rogers, 1 November 1932

Many of us tend to think that all this putrid politics is a recent thing But Will’s quote above from 80 plus years ago shows us that is simply not the case.  Our political system has stunk for years but our country continues for the most part to thrive in spite of it. At least it thrives for some of us.

Now that the Supreme Court has decided that Corporations have pretty much the same rights a people maybe we should re-think how our country is governed? Is it time that we incorporated the country? That way we could hire and fire people when we want to. Most of my Republican friends seem to think that corporations are the real leaders in this country anyway so they should be on board.  Not on the board but on board with this idea ;) .

Forget giving all the folks in those very red and very sparsely population prairie States who have much more voting power than the rest of us. In the new USA Inc. we could all be equal stockholders.  States would disappear replaced by maybe some subsidiaries but still under control of the same CEO and board. If corporations are what makes this country great then why not go all the way and make the country a corporation?

OK, enough of this silliness but we do kind of have to do something about all this gutter politics of the last hundred years or so…. sooner rather than later I hope.

This being April Fool’s Day I thought I would talk a little about politicians….

JesterThis is sort of political but not really. It is more in the line with personality types than about politics itself. Again, remember not to take life or this post too serious. I am mainly just poking fun of those who think they are different from us.

I have been thinking lately about the different types of politicians that I have seen in my lifetime and there is one particular type that caught my attention. No I am not talking about Republicans vs. Democrats or Conservatives vs. Liberals.  I call the group that is the topic of today’s post the Baby Bush Politicians. No they aren’t all Republicans or even actually even Americans. They are the type of politicians who have certain distinct set of personality characteristics. Here is my list:

1. Smirking — This is the ability of telling someone they are a bastard without actually saying the words.

2. Back slapping — You might call this the “good-old-boy” or maybe the “clubhouse” syndrome. This is where you give people the impression that you are one of them without really considering them to be so.

3. Strutting — This is a manner of presenting yourself as somehow superior to those around you. Of course John Wayne was the essence of this characteristic but all of the selected politicians in my group have a healthy doses of this walk.

4. Bravado — The dictionary calls this a pretentious, swaggering display of courage. Pretentious is the key word for these purposes. That is the feeling of being important.

5. Superiority — These guys just exude superiority. They think they have all life’s answers and the rest of us are just idiots compared to them.

There are a number of politicians that exhibit all of these characteristics but the epitome of them all, at least in my lifetime, seems to be our previous president George W. Bush. That is why his name graces the list. One characteristic I didn’t add is egotist. But of course that describes almost every politician who ever lived so it would not be of any value here.

Here is my list of members with their ratings (1 – 5 stars) in the order of their appearance.

Barack Obama  ***  Started out as a pretty naive president but has picked up several of these characteristics since then.

George W. Bush *****  Being that the group is named after him it is only appropriate that he get five stars.

Dick Cheney ****  The man behind the puppet

Vladimir Putin **** I had to include Mr Putin in this list. I don’t know about the swagger but he has all the other down pat.

Bill Clinton ***  Good Old Boy personified

Lyndon B. Johnson ***** The ultimate bully

Herbert Hoover ***

Andrew Jackson -*****

You would think that guys like Ted Cruz would be on the list too but since narcissism is not on the list and he is predominately the epitome of that trait he is not included. You might also wonder why I didn’t include Ronald Reagan on the list. He certainly had many of these characteristics but in reality he was more about standoffish, and folksy than anything else.

Neither Rain, Nor Sleet….

January 28, 2014

mailmanResidents waiting for their daily mail who haven’t shoveled out their mailboxes or sidewalks could be waiting for awhile, as postal carriers must have clear and safe access to make deliveries.

Letter carriers of the U.S. Postal Service are not to take risks trying to deliver mail, according to local Postmaster Deb Egemo. So, if a mailbox is inaccessible, either on foot or by vehicle, the carrier won’t deliver.

To ensure delivery:

– Keep walkways, steps and porches clear of snow and ice that can lead to dangerous falls.

– Clear enough snow from curbside boxes to allow mail trucks to approach the box, deliver the mail and drive away from the box without danger or the need for backing.

– Clear walkways of snow and ice to allow for enough traction, keeping particular attention to areas that can be affected by gutter runoff that can refreeze.

– Keep steps clear of snow and ice and in good repair.

– Overhangs near mailboxes should be ice and snow-free, to avoid any icicles or chunks of ice from falling.

The words above came for my local newspaper. I certainly understand that postal carriers need to be safe when they deliver the mail but what about the most common quote about the post office.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

I guess this is another place where an updated mission statement is needed…

Now before you start flaming me, please realize this post is 95% in jest….but then there is the other 5%. ;)

When I Grow Up….

January 17, 2014

editorI have stated often on the blog that I have spent much of my life asking myself “What do I want to do when I grow up?” It just seems that I never really found my own personal unique way to put my mark on the world.  This question popped up yet again while I was sitting on my throne a while ago and suddenly the most obvious answer flooded my senses. I was meant to be an editor!!

This calling should have been obvious to me before now. I can’t believe I have lived this long without fully realizing it.   A big part of blogging for me is editing my first thoughts into a more coherent and nuanced version for the official post. This is usually a three or more stage process over at least a week long period. I try my hardest to get it down to just the right words.

Throughout my life even when I say things, five times out of six (don’t ask me why I chose that number) I end up re-voicing the same thought with different, more appropriate words. As a matter of fact I do the same thing when I am just thinking of something. I have been editing myself most of my life! How come I just realized that fact?

Regrettably I realize that his epiphany has come much too late to do me much good as far as an occupation goes. That time has come and gone.  It is kind of like the old saying of locking the barn door after the cow has already gotten out. I wish I had had a good guidance counselor in my high school days. I’m sure the above traits were there even then. I might have missed my calling in life as far as an occupation goes (I think I would have made a darn good editor).

But I do kind of think that my natural editing abilities have served me well in life. I don’t have a large following here even after more than four years at RJ’s Corner but I think I have a pretty loyal one and that certainly gives me a very pleasant level of satisfaction. You think enough of my editing abilities and the stories I tell to come back day after day to see what I have to say. Thanks for that.

Always looking for just the right words is a valuable part of my always questioning why things are the way they are. As Einstein said in one of his famous quotes

“The important thing is not to stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein

Even though I came to the epiphany too late to use it as an occupation I think it has served me well in this life. But I kind of wish I could have had the opportunity to try to become a world-class editor. :)

Taking It Back….

July 27, 2013

Baby GeorgePrince William and Kate Middleton have named the royal heir George Alexander Louis, Kensington Palace announced in a statement today.

SOURCE: Kate Middleton and Prince William Name Baby George Alexander Louis – ABC News.

So another big royalty event is past.  The future king’s name is George. Being a big U.S. history buff, not so much the royalty stuff, King George has some significance to me.

Let’s go back about 250 years ago. At that time another King George was battling with insurgent terrorists in some of his British colonies on the other side of the world. They absolutely refused to pay their taxes. They cowardly hid behind trees and killed many of his soldiers. They didn’t fight standing in long lines and shooting each other like they were supposed to. They were self-proclaimed insurgents but he deems them terrorists. In the end King George lost this battle and the treasonist Americans went on to form their own country.

Now lets flash forward from 2013 to around 2060 or so. It is necessary to go that far because those kings and queen being pampered as they are live quite long lives. So it will be about then that King William will be turning over Buckingham Palace to King George.

Nostradamus became pretty famous for his future predictions so, what the heck, I am going to make one here myself.  The name Walters just doesn’t have the ring to it that Nostradamus does but maybe it will be known throughout the ages as the prediction of all predictions.

I predict that around 2060 the British empire will welcome its long strayed children in the new world back into its family. By that time the U.S. will have spent themselves into total oblivion. They will have sent all their young men to live and die on foreign soils as soldier “peace keeping forces”. Their basic government unraveled years before in total chaos. As a last ditch effort they pleaded for Britain to take them back. Britain having sympathy for her long-lost children will take them in.

To one King George North America was a bunch of terrorists. Another would rescue them from their self-generated stupidity.  So, here’s to you the future King George may you live a good life.

Of course my prediction might just turn out to be totally inaccurate!  But I imagine the reason will more likely be that we will self-implode long before that time…

EmmyEmmy Awards 2013: Nominations Announced

Source:  Emmy Awards 2013: Nominations Announced – ABC News.

I won’t bore you folks who swear you never watch television with the long list of Emmy nominations here. If you want to see them click on the source above. The point of this post is that excluding “Dowton Abbey” there were no other shows on this long list that my wife and I watch. Are we out of tune with all those other TV watchers?  Most of the shows on the list I put in the “stupid” category. They are for the most part just a series of quick one line quips to get us to laugh, cry, or whatever emotion the author intends.

When I watch TV I do like to be entertained. Those two hours or so a day that I spend in front of the boob tube are when I want to quit thinking about all the troubles in life and just be entertained. But, since I have a brain I don’t want to insult it with what my eyes see. Fortunately having TIVO allows me to pick and choose from the thousands of hours out there to record for future viewing. Dowton Abbey, as I said at the beginning of this post, is part of that list. The Wonders of Life is another one. Many of the shows on the list are from the BBC. I wonder if that says something about me or the Brits who produce them?

Yeah, this post so far seems to say that I am taking the “high brow” approach to TV. But at least I admit that I watch on a regular basis. Some of my friends won’t even admit that. :)  But, my wife who has made it her life’s occupation to show me where I am wrong, points out that I watch the Three Stooges on occasion and “isn’t that the same thing as all those shows you disdain?” There is probably some truth to her words but I kind of see a difference.

Getting back to the Emmy list, I know that most of the shows in TV are intended for the 18-29 year-old people as somehow the advertisers think they spend the most money. I have two issues with that belief. First when I was that age I didn’t have nearly the amount of money to spend later in life. I was pretty much living hand to mouth in those days. Second, is the drivel in this list really appealing to even that age group? If so I kind of have some concerns about these kids taking over the country in the not too distant future….

You’re so vain I bet you think this song is about you, don’t you?  

This quote came from a song by Carly Simon in 1972.  I don’t think of myself as being very vain, but aren’t we all vain to one degree or another?  What is vanity? According to one dictionary I have it is:  characteristic of false pride; having an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

All of us take pride in our accomplishments and rightfully so but when that we get carried away with it then it becomes a problem.  An excessive degree of vanity some say is the root of all evil.  We must all realize that for the most part we will be long forgotten soon after we leave this earth.  Most of us just don’t leave a very deep footprint on this world.

One of the places where I see my vanity surface has to do with my blogs. I look around at some of what I consider totally frivolous blogs and see that they have thousands and thousands of followers while my blogs seldom get more than a hundred views a day. How could those sites be more relevant than mine? Don’t I talk about some pretty serious issues that need addressing? I must admit that when I was doing more posts of a partisan political nature my blog visits were quite a bit higher. It is tempting to continue to do more of that but I decided to take the high road so to speak.

My “followers” increase a little every week but never enough to satisfy my vanity.  I want to be famous!  It is only when I can tamp down my false pride that saner thoughts occur. I am not trying to win friends and influence people as the old saying goes. Instead I blog for a higher purpose. I blog for an enlightened audience so to speak. I blog for quality not quantity. :)

Feedly 2Putting all this vanity stuff aside, the original purpose of this post is to give you an alternative to the Google Reader that so many use.  Google announced that they would cease that app in a few months. I have been using it for several years now so I went on the search for another app to fill that void. I found one that is even better than Google and that is Feedly.  You can import your Google Reader stuff and quickly add others as you come across them.  Then simply click the “Feedly” button in your browser and up comes snapshots of all the unread posts that you follow.  It also has the capability of saving posts you want to keep for the future.  Click on the picture to the right to try it out.

Now to connect these two seemingly unconnected discussions. I can rationalize that my “follower” count does not reflect my total number of dedicated readers on my blogs since many are probably connected via readers such as Feedly which my blogging software doesn’t account for. So, maybe I am more popular than I think. At least that is a good way of rationalizing my exaggerated sense of self-importance.