I have been in a rather melancholy mood lately thinking about life. I have concluded that life is what you make of it. Yeah I know this is one of those sayings that we tend to fall back on at times. I guess this is my time. I have come to realize that life is not some glorious dream to be lived sometime in the future. It is not about those days when you can finally say goodbye to a seeming never-ending job. It is about day-to-day living; each and every one of them. If you think otherwise you are wasting a good portion of your life yearning for something that is ahead and may never come..

My favorite saying used to be “Remember the future comes but a day at a time”. I even went to the point of painting this on a board and keeping it above my desk throughout my college years. During those years these word taught me that if I want a certain future, that is to be the first one in my family to graduate from college,  I must work for it everyday. It reminded me why I was working forty hours a week to pay for it while taking almost a full college load each semester. It reminded my why I was always sleep deprived during those years.  Now after so many years have passed these words have come to mean something different and that is life is about living it is not a destination but a journey. The future is now and it comes and goes on a daily basis.

Don’t plan on your life suddenly becoming meaningful at some milestone in the future. From personal experiences I can tell you that never happens. I am a dreamer. I have always been one I guess. So I frequently think about the future. But given that I now have many more days behind me that in front maybe it is time to quit dreaming so much and start acting on those dreams that I have yet to fulfill.

Is there some point to these seemingly random ramblings going through my mind? Maybe, maybe not :)  If there is I guess it is to live my life, at least what is left of it, enjoying each and every day. Quit waiting for that rainbow at the end of the road. Life has not been particularly pleasant for me lately. I have been struggling with thoughts of making changes that I have been putting off for some time now. Changes that would almost certainly give me more joy but may result in some sadness and maybe breaking some unspoken promises. I know I don’t have that many years left on the earth. Do I spend them dreaming of something else or do I take a leap and try to catch a dream or two? At this point I guess I am still pondering that decision. But every day that I waste is another day that I will no longer see. The clock is ticking.

And the journey goes on….