I never thought I would live to see 40 and when that number happened I just quit counting. I am finishing up my 77th year, and I am wondering by how much I will beat the odds of my genes. I am now a year older than my father when he died. I never dreamed that would even be possible. I just never thought much about these years where I find myself now.

Part of my daily routine is when I am in the shower each morning, I thank the Lord for a new day she has given me. With some frequent challenges, I try to make each day count for something. That is the primary thing that keeps me going now. For the most part, I am now considered irrelevant. I have finally convinced myself to quit trying to make a difference here at my RetCom. After a half dozen attempts with no success, I have decided to just blend in with the crowd, and at the same time, maybe become invisible to even them.

• In my childhood, I constantly dreamed of what the future would hold for me. I can remember lying out on a dewey lawn staring at the distant stars and dreaming about where I would be in “x” years.
• In my thirty years in corporate employment, I added much more value to the corporation I worked for than I got in salary and pension. Some of that work was exciting and challenging, some of it was downright boring. But thanks to the 30 years, I now have a sizable pension to fall back on.
• In my post corporate life, I built custom furniture for many people in the Midwest. Several were repeat customers. It was nice to be appreciated for my design and fabrication talents.
• Then came perhaps to be the most fulfilling stage of my life. First I volunteered at a local food bank, and then I spent eleven years making and serving meals in a soup kitchen/homeless shelter.
• Then there were the caregiver years. That decade turned out to be the most challenging. As the years passed, the person I was taking care of became an extreme recluse, so I too was mostly cut off from the rest of the world. It was just me and her. She became more distant and even spiteful of life toward the end.

Now I am in my RetCom (retirement community) years. I am currently in independent living, but the time will most certainly come when I go to assisted living and beyond to finish my life. I don’t know how I will handle those years, and that kinda scares me?