I am always on the lookout for advice on dealing with my final years. I found an article that has helped me in that regard so I thought I would give you a few snippets from it. Since the article is for members only on The Medium I can’t give you a path to it. If you would like more details let me know.

Here is the list:

• Accept That You Are No Longer Needed The Same Way And That’s Okay

This was one of the most difficult immediate effects of entering my retirement years. Letting go of relevance just seemed like a small death. I went from dealing with many people and their IT problems daily down to only my wife. It made me feel useless until I accepted the fact that my role just changed. The article says that emotional strength begins when I stop demanding to be needed and learn to observe instead.

• Keep a Private Daily Order

I am a person who lives by lists and calendars so this one was an easy one. I now wake up every morning at 5:30 a.m. I do have an alarm set on my Apple Watch but I seem to automatically wake up before it buzzes me. Then there is the internet browsing followed by making the bed and a shower. I won’t bore you with the rest of my day but to say it is followed almost without exception seven days a week.

The article points out a University of Pittsburgh article that found that those who woke up early and followed a consistent daily routine were happier, sharper, and less depressed than those with erratic schedules. Don’t we all need a happier life?

• Speak Aloud To Yourself, Kindly

Here is a quote from the article. I couldn’t say it better myself

When you spend most of your days in silence, something strange begins to happen. The voice in your head can turn against you. It starts whispering things like, “You’ve done nothing today,” or “Nobody cares anymore.” The secret to overcoming this is to talk to yourself. The sound of his own voice became a kind of medicine. In the absence of anyone else, you chose to become your own companion.

It turns out psychologists call this “private speech”. It has been found that older adults who use positive self-talk feel stronger and more capable.

• Tend To Something Living

One of the most powerful psychological tools for staying emotionally strong in your later years is tending to something living. An easy way to do this is house plants. The simple act of tending to something living can become a private ritual.

• Revisit the Past, But Don’t Drown In It

Go back to remember the past but don’t live there. The past can be a place of comfort, but it can also trap you if you let it.

• Let The Pain Come, Then Let It Leave

Grief is part of aging. I felt that strongly when my wife of 36 years died in 2021. Pain becomes part of your private landscape. Strength isn’t the absence of feeling. It’s the ability to feel something deeply without letting it drown you.

• Make Peace With The Ending

Many people think of death as a thief waiting around the corner. If you can instead see death as just a normal part of the life cycle, it is easier to live day-to-day. Make peace with it.