Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~ Ben Franklin
I have read several books about Ben Franklin. He is certainly a fascinating character but he is generally not one of my favorite founding fathers. He led a pretty pretentious life and was probably one of the original “dirty old men” ;) But his words above do inspire me. More importantly they help me keep my mouth shut on occasion. On this blog, and in life in general, I seek just the right words to say something, especially something I am passionate about. I often look to say the right thing in the right place.
But in the spur of the moment I often say things that are maybe best left unsaid. Given what I have read about Franklin, he also didn’t do a very good job of taking his own advice. I admit that one of my worst traits is to speak before I think. Maybe that is why I love blogging so much. It allows me to temper my words before they become public and believe it or not most of my posts are tempered.
It seems that many in public life also need to learn this lesson of leaving some things unsaid. I just watched a little of the grilling of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton before a Senate committee about the embassy attack of last September that resulted in four deaths. I was amazed how well she kept her cool during the vitriol words from Senators McCain and Paul. Criticism is one thing that has its place but when it is done for primarily political or self-seeking purposes it degrades the speaker.
And then of course there are the marital spats that all of us have from time to time. (I’m not the only one who has them am I?). In the heat of the moment we often say some pretty cruel things to our spouses that should never have left our lips. We all need to learn to let somethings remain unsaid especially with those we love.
Thanks Ben for these inspiring words…..
RJ's Corner 
Just keeping quiet and not saying what is on the tip of my tongue is something I really only started to learn in my later years. One Halloween a few years ago, we had a young boy I knew from school come to the door with an older gray haired man and I cheerfully said “Oh, how nice that Grandpa could come out trick or treating with you!” His icy reply was “I’m not Grandpa, I’m his Dad…just an older Dad.” I was mortified, and he was always cool towards me after that. I can’t say I blame him. That was a lesson for me to think before I speak. I must always temper my urge to blurt out remarks without thinking first. Unfortunately I could list many more. Sigh.
And oh yes, that goes double on the home front! As I’ve mentioned my husband and I are quite divided on politics and religion….humor is our saving grace! We are usually able to joke around touchy subjects and move on.
Blogs give writers like you time to reflect, revise, and delete your post and replies to comments.
Sometimes I regret a comment I’ve made but there isn’t always a way to delete that. Could you add that feature?
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The grandpa thing was just a mistaken observation. I wouldn’t call it things best left unsaid. Embarrassing yeah..
I am glad that at least my wife and I are of the same political persuasion. We both care more about people than corporations :) But we do differ in quite a few other areas and as you say we enjoy “jerking each others chains” in those areas.
I don’t think I could blog if it meant real-time interactions. I need a way to sit back and think about what comes out before others see it. Unfortunately I don’t see anyway to give my commentors that option. About all you can do is a follow up to change something. I, on the other hand, can edit my own (and even your) comments. How’s that for power! That is how I tricked you with the name change a few days ago……
Keep on commenting here and I will forgive you for things that maybe should have been left unsaid…..
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Okay R.J., that’s a deal.
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