Following up on the “Pity Party” post of Friday, this is the first of a series of three posts that will have some reality but also some tongue-in-cheek stuff so don’t get too concerned that I am ready to bite a bullet or anything like that. :)
Now that Spring is here I hope I will soon be coming out of my usual winter doldrums. The six months between November and April are just not in any way, shape, or form my favorite months. They are for the most part spent locked up in the house waiting out the next cold spell and snow/ice storm. My emotional level drains out of me during this time and I pray that at least a little of it is still salvageable when Spring finally arrives. This winter has been much more difficult than most.
I must admit that during this season I often get depressed when I read some of the blogs I frequent related to senior living.
Here I am cabin bound with a wife that simply loves the condition I loathe. There is just no possibility of foregoing the winter months in favor of a warmer climate.
- Here I am with a body that continues to degrade on an almost daily basis. My knees and back have been disaster areas for several years and now my hips are going.
- Here I am facing the fact that I simply can’t do some of the simple things that I easily accomplished just a few years ago.
- Here I am not being able to taste some of the things that I used to love and am told that diabetes is probably on the horizon.
And then I read about how my fellow bloggers
are using their frequent flyer miles to run off to this or that Caribbean island for a quick vacation.- are jumping in the RV and go to a national park for a twenty-mile hike.
- are off to their favorite restaurant for that $100 meal.
- are having a great time in their favorite snow bird location.
So here I am having the ultimate pity party. I guess I should to be inspired by all those leading the “great life” or at least happy for them. But their stories actually make my life seem even worse than it is. This is kind of like all the stories you see on TV where someone, against all odds survived where most perish. They are inspiring but don’t make that other 99% who didn’t have the same outcome feel any better.
Maybe I should be on the lookout for some new blogs about people who are actually getting old as they are getting old. But who wants to read on a daily basis someone who is struggling in their final years. I suspect that even if those blogs do exist they are short-lived. No one wants to read about those types of lives. But, then again maybe they do? That will be the topic of tomorrow’s post.
RJ's Corner 
;) You know me- contrarian that I am.
Seems to me your thinking goes on high speed during the winter. Your posts are thought provoking. I have not read you through the summer yet- so maybe you continue on.
Have you looked into “deaf travel” http://www.kerstinsdeaftravel.com
http://www.handsontvl.com/handsontvl_new/
They look popular since many are already sold out.
If your wife simply watches tv – maybe you can move to a snow bird community in Arizona for a bit of the winter. Watching tv doesn’t change from state to state. There are community resources in Tucson http://lwhl.arizona.edu that help with adjustment.
Last, you might have to break out the old American sign language so you can communicate with more people. http://www.lifeprint.com
Come on- we all know you are an amazingly talented and “smart” man….use the pity party for the good and have some fun!
You are always welcome at our house if you are passing on I-70 in person.
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Okay, I will play amateur psychologist today…take it with a grain of salt please :-)
I think you’re right that it might be a good idea to find some new and different reading material to ease your depression. While there is not a lot we can do about our aging/deteriorating bodies, we “can” adjust our expectations and goals. You seem to be a major “worrier”, R.J. You worry about a lot of huge issues (politics, poverty, war, etc..) that are not much in your control in addition to your own personal concerns. You dwell on the dream of travel and adventure that your wife does not share. I know you say we shouldn’t give up on our “dreams”. But if the dreams are not possible for all the reasons you listed above, and only bring you down and leave you with anxiety, what’s the point? How about shifting your focus to what is possible here and now?
I can reccommend one site that I find kind of uplifting if you’re interested…in fact this mornings article might be apropo.
http://tinybuddha.com/
That being said, a change of the season will do more good than anything else for all of us…hang in there and don’t be annoyed with me for my long distance analysis. I’m on you side.
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I meant “your” side. Wish there was an edit button so I could fix my typos :-)
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Thanks you two for your psychoanalysis. But you just take what I say too serious. I often take a liberal dose of artistic license here when talking about my life. :)
As a matter of fact I am writing this reply from a hotel room in Frankenmuth MI while we are on a week-long vacation. That has done a lot for my cabin fever/depression already. As Jane said the changing weather will do wonders for my outlook as it has done in the years past.
The intended focus of this post was to say I get depressed listening to how great life goes for others while it doesn’t seem so great for me. That is the theme of this post, not of my life. Maybe that overlying message got lost in the weeds here? More on that in tomorrow’s post. I don’t know, I don’t really consider myself much of a worrier. I am more of an observer and reporter of life. Yeah, I know I personally can’t bring world peace but maybe my post will be a very very small nudge for someone else to do something to help it. You never know……
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I really think the only difference between you and them/us ( :-) ) is outlook. If I wished to, I could certainly come up with a long list of things I can’t, or will never, be able to do. I choose instead to focus on the things I can do. Glass half empty vs glass half full in other words.
I’ll bet I could step into your life and find many, many glass half full moments. starting with the beautiful countryside in which it sounds like you live.
There is a saying you’ve probably heard before, “Take the actions and the feelings will come.” It would be interesting, perhaps, to give that a go for a week, journal on your experiences and feelings, and see what happens. :-)
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Oh Tamara, what are you trying to do?? Turn my blog into a happy one. :)
I certainly do celebrate life, many forms of it. But I also like to “pull its chain” once in a while. I get a lot of pleasure just poking fun at things as my hero Will Rogers did so that is my primary focus here at RJs Corner. As you say anyone can find joy in life if they look for it but how many can successfully poke fun at the other side?
I put the sub-quote from Will on my header here for a specific reason. It guides me I try my best and don’t take life too serious. A little fun with my infirmities I think helps others cope with theirs. Go ahead and read the next two posts with that in mind.
I hope you and Mike don’t take my comments here too personally. I love your blog and wish you would continue. If nothing else it gives me something to tease once in a while.
Thanks for stopping by……
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