Life Is A Great Balancing Act…

Earlier this year I got a small calendar from a small Amish store that I frequent a few times a year. I just love their pickled asparagus and other things. I usually say no when these things are offered, but for some reason I took this one, and I’m glad I did. Monthly they have a picture with a quote below it that seems to be talking to me.

My regular readers know that I have been struggling with what the rest of my life is going to be. My wife’s death, almost a year ago, turned my world upside-down. I am on my own now for the first time in almost 40 years. She did more for me than I ever, regrettably, thanked her for.

Part of my recent On-The-Road trip was to see if there might be a change of location. I looked at six retirement communities in the South and Southwest to see if I might want to move there. There was one of the six I visited that appealed to me, but since it has a three-year waiting list…

When I glanced at my little calendar, as shown above, it kinda reminded me that my happiness is not so much influenced by where I live. As usual, I had pretty much overthought the relocation idea. But now, with care and great tack I realize the life’s a great balancing act. Where I live is just a small part of that. I have to also consider things that are just as important, or maybe more so, to me.

I have resolved to stay here in the Midwest and most likely in the small college town where I presently reside. It has everything I need or could want. Although it has not happened much in my life, I have been dreaming of finding a place where I am an accepted and welcomed part of a group. Or, as the theme song from the TV show Cheers says: Where everybody knows my name, and are always glad I came. Looking at life as a balancing act I now realize that will never likely happen. I accept that, according to statistics, I am a one-in-three million person. Being a deaf Aspie pretty much excludes me from typical group membership. I just need to accept that and move on. I will always be “the odd man looking in”.

Blogging has been an important part of my life for almost fourteen years now. I know my view counts compared to others are pretty small, but I kinda feel that it is “my group” who accepts me for who I am, or at least what I write about. Blogging is just an essential part of who I am now. As the years have gone by it has especially lately become more inward-looking. I need that, and from some of your comments, I know you also learn a thing or two that might apply to your life. If nothing else, I hope that my posts are at least entertaining ๐Ÿฅธ

Life is a great balancing act

14 thoughts on “Life Is A Great Balancing Act…

  1. I imagine many folks don’t live in their ideal place. Betty does not like the desert, but our kids grew up here and stayed, so we have, too, for 37 years!

    As you point out, life is balancing the good and the not so good to arrive at a place you can shape your own existence snd experiences. Finding out where you can reach that balance is critical to a satisfying life. Your trek around the country has allowed you to find that answer.

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    1. Thanks for the thoughts, Bob. Yeah, roots do tend to hold people, especially when family is concerned. Even though I have very shallow roots family wise, I still choose to stay close to where I was born. Maybe I am rationalizing, but after reviewing the possibilities I like the cool, green, and season changing Midwest the best. Like you say, I wouldn’t have discovered that without my recent 6,000-mile journey.

      I know all the “best places to retire” publications usually point to college areas as they have more diversity and educational opportunities than most other places. Stubbornly, I am finding that to be mostly true for me. There are many museums here that I have yet to visit and the ones I have, I want to go to again.

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    1. EJ, thanks for being part of my “group” here at RJsCorner. I appreciate every one of you, especially those like you, who chime in once in a while to let me know how I am doing. I will do my best to make coming back here enjoyable, entertaining, and educational. If nothing else you will be more familiar with deaf Aspies, I am indeed one-in-a-million. ๐ŸคŸ

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  2. I am finding more closeness with virtual friends than I do with in the flesh friends. I interact with them more often and at a pace that is never overwhelming. Most virtual friends are via blogging, but a few I’m getting to know better through Zoom.

    I enjoy the introspection that your blog provides.

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    1. Thanks for the insight about virtual vs flesh friends, Barry. I have 300 – 400 virtual friends read my blog posts daily and enjoy every one of them coming. That wouldn’t be possible with flesh friends. As EJ, said above you guys are my “group”. I love that thought.๐Ÿ˜

      btw… I am still watching a few minutes 800-Words almost every day. Even after the third or fourth time, they are just as enjoyable as the first time. NZ rocks when it comes to streaming shows!!

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  3. This is Ivy๏ผŒI started following RJS Corner for a while. I enjoyed reading the RetComLife because I know some day I will face with the same situation. I want to prepare myself. Also I want to find a place for my mom. I am not sure she should stay home or go to an assisted living facility. I enjoyed reading On The Road posts. Your posts are valuable.

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    1. Thanks, Ivy, for being one of my regular virtual friends. Our group has a fantastic diversity of people. I’m glad you enjoy my RetComLife, and On-the-road posts. Given my recent OTR trip, I am beginning to rethink some of my words in my RetComLife posts. Of course, I will get out posts about that soon. Where you live is maybe not as important as “how” you live, and how you spend your time. OTR finally taught me that.

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  4. Thanks for your blogs on your trip “on the Yelow Brick Road”. You may not have found the Emerald City but it seems as though you might now know what you don’t want, if that makes sense. I live in a Retirement Village here in Australia, but it is a very small one – only 24 villas – and I find it very friendly and nobody expects more friendship than you are happy with. We only socialise about once a week at Happy Hour and that is enough for us at this stage. There aren’t the facilities here that the larger villages have, which is why we like it as we wouldn’t use a swimming pool or tennis court etc. but of course could use those facilities in the area, run by the local council if we wanted to. I do hope you find the community you feel happy in, as I think there is always a place that is right for you, but you might have to wait and do some more research. I think where I am is as good as possible and if my husband or I were left on our own here we would have as much support from the residents here as we wanted as there are singles and well as couples and they all support each other in ways they are comfortable with. I look forward to your blogs on your future decisions.

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    1. Thank you, Rosie, for your thoughts and story. Yeah, you are right, I am discovering what I don’t want and that cancels out many of the options. Eventually, I will decide what is best for me.

      It sounds like you have found your perfect RetComLife for you. Maybe I should look at the smaller places in my area? Thanks for that suggestion.

      I love the pictures on your website, and I love Australia and New Zealand and I get to visit there via you pics.

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  5. Interesting observations. I offer you my husband’s most famous advice: “Life is a series of compromises.” Initially I found it irritating, but over time I’ve realized it’s just the truth. I loved many things about living in No. California, but overall, when my job changed and my kids went off to college, I wanted to be in the Midwest near family and familiar places.

    I’m enjoying your blog posts and am glad I found you. Keep on writing…many people appreciate it. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, Laurel. As Bob said above, family roots tend to be stronger than many other things. We went through northern California in 2008 and loved it and the environment. But, the cost of houses and living are pretty prohibitive.

      This trip was more about eliminating places to live instead of selecting one. When you have eliminated until there is only one left, then that is your choice. That pretty much goes along with your husband’s advice, doesn’t it? ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  6. I recently discovered your blog and I very much enjoy reading your posts. Especially the ones about your recent adventure trying to find the perfect place to live. You were there all along. I think we don’t realize that sometimes until it is too late. My husband and I retired to the desert southwest from Boston. We thought it would be so great to live somewhere so different than what we were used to. And it was until it wasn’t. The pandemic made it impossible to go back east to visit my family. That was when I realized we moved too far away from them.

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts Roberta and welcome to RJsCorner. Come back often with your input. Yeah, it seems that as Dorthy said, “There is no place like home”, wherever that is. My wife was very rooted in the Midwest and would never have agreed to moving, but I, like you, dreamed of going someplace that was very different from where I spent most of my life. My recent trip convinced me against that logic.

      I just don’t think I would ever enjoy the desert Southwest with its high temperatures, and arid conditions. I’m glad I discovered this before instead of after the fact as you and your husband have. The two most popular retirement destinations, Florida and Arizona, just aren’t for me, and plainly I can’t understand the allure that I once had.

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