I don’t know how long it will be, but I will likely be that old man in a wheelchair above at some time in the future. That’s ok, that is just life, everyone dies in the end. But, what scares me about it is that I have no almost no one who will help me make end of life decisions. I am mostly on my own. As I mentioned in a recent post here at RJsCorner, I decided to give up my custom-built camper recently. I traveled about 10,000 miles last year in it and another 4,000 this year. Then I decided that enough was enough. My kidneys and bones just can’t take any more of those extended trips.
Where I am in life right now has a couple of common names:
Solo Agers
Elder Orphans
I kinda like the latter description. Since my wife died, I am suddenly on my own, with practically no one to help me with end-of-life decisions. No children, grandchildren. It is up to me to do that for myself. The first such decision was, as described above, giving up my camper. Many similar decisions remain down the road. When to give up my driver’s license will be a big one. I hope there is someone that will help me with that when the time comes?
One of the most difficult challenges for elder orphans is finding someone to help with long-term care decisions when it is needed. Traditionally, this type of responsibility falls on the senior’s adult children. Elder orphans must navigate a system that often assumes adult children are available to help. What happens when no one is there? I have no idea.
I am in a lifecare community. That means when the time comes, I can move to the assisted living wing and after that to the long-term care facility in a separate building to the south. Surprisingly, when I mentioned the two names above to a staff member here at my RetCom, she was not familiar with it! There has never been any mention of services provided to help us elder orphans here. I don’t recall seeing any mention of these type services here in any of the many publications.
The Census Bureau states that 27% of those over 65 have no adult children. So, we elder orphans are a larger group than imagined. While many older adults experience loneliness and isolation, they say that elder orphans are particularly at risk. I hope my RetCom understands that and helps me with those challenges, but I don’t know if that is the case.
So, here is another question you need to add to your RetCom search:
RJ's Corner - Having My Say 
My sister is an elder orphan. My daughter is willing to help, but lives across the country. I am finding nephews and nieces are willing to step up for the elder orphan of cousins. 25% is about right! I can see that number dramatically rising in the future.
Still, I know half of them have clear cut relationships, with documents, about the things you mention. I think most are more honest to themselves about aging/death.
My mom’s place had a social worker. Mom knew her pretty well, and visited with her monthly. I think if mom had no one else, she would have turned to her. The problem is social workers move on.
You are an amazing researcher. Would you entertain the idea of starting an elder orphan blog? There really isn’t a resource (I’ve looked). What are alternatives? What are the documents? How about people without means?
Otherwise, I think you have a pretty solid following here of people who care, I care. If you need to “fess things out” you have eyes here.
LikeLike
Thanks for the thoughts, Janette. I have a niece that will be involved in the estate stuff. That pleasantly surprised me when she agreed. My estate lawyer, who has become a good friend, will do most of the work on the estate, so that is done. What I am mainly talking about in this post is the personal stuff that will likely change as my health goes down.
Bringing up an elder orphan blog? I hadn’t considered that, but I kind of think my plate is pretty full right now with my ATI (Ambitions Turned Inward) stuff. But I will certainly give it some thought. But, I will continue to investigate elder orphans and report what I discover.
Yes, I do have a pretty solid foundation of readers who have been with RJsCorner for most of its existence. I feel good about that.
LikeLike