The title of this post has been a fundamental question I have asked myself throughout my life. But, it seems lately that that question has come to the forefront with the word “Still” plastered across it. I know you are probably tired of reading about this topic, so thank goodness I am finally near the end of focusing on it.

I can’t seem to wrap my head around the thought that I left the corporate life almost 24 years ago. Until then, my retirement years were thought of as one continuous string. I could do whatever I wanted. But, I don’t think I ever discovered what I really wanted to do, at least to my satisfaction.

Whether you like it or not, Life continues to change, even after retirement.

However, there does come a point where I, and I expect many of you, will also ask the question

What am I living for?

I have been in my RetCom (retirement community) for coming on 3 years now, and my day-to-day life is mostly the same. If I didn’t look at my calendar app, I wouldn’t even know what day it is anymore.

According to an article (click HERE to read it) I recently read about this topic.

A 2020 study published by  BMC Geriatrics described a death wish phenomenon in older adults in terms of a “completed life” versus “tired of life.” Although they acknowledged there were no clear definitions of these terms, they framed the research around healthy older individuals who no longer wanted to live. That had, in essence, reached a point of being done, for whatever reason, with their lives.

I am asking that question more and more lately. I think the sameness of each day has contributed to that. As the article above states, there is a BIG difference between being in the passive or active mode with the thought of having lived long enough. I am definitely in the passive mode as I am actually trying to figure out “what comes next” instead of “why am I here”.

I just can’t embrace the idea that my life has already reached a practical conclusion. There is still much to be learned, and I am not done trying to use my life experiences to help others along their paths in life. But, the question, as always, is how do I manage that?

That’s the crux of it. Tomorrow, I have some specifics to say about why I want to keep living.