Guys Bonding….

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bondingI know I have a sizable percentage of women who follow this blog so I thought I would spend this post telling you about how guys bond. At least the guys I know.  I’m sure you all know and that guys bond differently than women.    When a woman feels emotional about something it is usually very obvious.  Not so much for us guys.

I think I am more girly, as Arnold puts it, than most guys. I readily admit that I shed a few tears during some movies and such when something bad or even good happens to a good guy. But I am very much a guy when it comes to male bonding. A grunt here and a grunt there when I am with my best buddy is about all you are going to get from me.  We just take it as an unspoken truth that our best buddy has our backs so to speak. We don’t need words to get in the way of that trust. We seem to bond more emotionally with our pets than we do with our buddies.

I must admit though that I wish I had held on to some of the close relationships in my life as my wife has. Some of her current day friends she has had since childhood and she actually communicates with many on a regular basis. She has a friend that she roomed with when she left home after high school in the 1950s that she frequently calls.  She has a friend that she has had since the 1960s that we visit on a regular basis.  I can’t even fathom how those long term friendships have endured.

I have had several best buddies in my life (don’t have one now but that is life I guess) but it seems when circumstance change and they, or I, move away future communications seldom happen. I had the same roommate throughout college that I lost contact with immediately after graduation. I have been searching for him for several years now but have been unsuccessful so far. I really wonder how his life turned out and would like to tell him about mine.  I envy my wife and some of my other female friends who manage to keep a friendship going when us guys can’t seem to.

But in some ways maybe losing some friends may be a blessing, particularly for me.  I have been deaf for almost twenty five years now and when I attended my  forty-fifth high school reunion several years ago it was a total let down. When most learned that I am now deaf they seemed to avoid me at all costs. My best friend of those years hardly said a word to me during the entire multi-hour event. I guess he just didn’t know what to say to me now and that hurt me pretty deeply. Now I admit that much of it was probably my fault. I should have taken the initiative to encourage communications.  But that seems to be another thing I discovered about long lost times in that I reverted back to my introverted years when I came across these past friends. Its kind of like when you visit your parents, it doesn’t matter how old you are you back to being their kid.

So to close out this post, us guys just don’t bond the same as you ladies out there but speaking just between you and me I kind of wish we did…..

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