I have been pretty melancholy for the last few weeks. I’m sure part of this is because of the isolation due to all this miserable weather we have been enduring. Because of the sub-zero temperatures I have regrettably missed more of my soup kitchen sessions than I have made in the past month. I am beginning to seriously miss all the people I interact with there on a daily basis. The cabin fever is messing with my mind.
The title of this post came from an early episode of Grey’s Anatomy that I just watched. As I mentioned before I have recently been introduced to streaming video. Part of that is I can view all these old TV shows from the beginning to the end or in any order I wish. Grey’s Anatomy has always been one of my favorite TV shows. I think that is mainly because I am able to relate at one level or another to most of the characters. Each one seems to reflect part of my psyche.
Another reason that I love the show is the narrative in the background of each episode. They take one underlying theme associated generally with emotions and build a script around it. Shanda Rhimes, who is the creator of the show, is a master at that. In the last two weeks I have watched almost two full seasons of the show again!
Getting back to the underlying point of this post, the episode I just watched had to do with becoming an intimate part of a group. The interns on the show were grappling with their own versions of loneliness. For various reasons they were bickering with each other. But in the end they were there for each other when it counted. One of the last narratives of this episode was about how your first tribe was due to circumstances. It was to get you ready to go out on the world on your own terms. Finding your tribe is what most of us search for the rest of our lives. Some find it early and many never really find it.
I must admit that much of my life was spent in some pretty lonely conditions. I was raised in a single parent home and Dad, although I knew on some level that he loved me, just wasn’t very good at telling me or my brother that. I just had no one during those early years that I could say was really part of my tribe. In high school I was one of those weird kids who just didn’t seem to have that connection with many of my classmates. I was too shy, due to lack of social contact to attract many friends especially ones of the opposite sex. I had a few good buddies but no real soul mates.
In some degree or another I was never able to really find my own tribe at any time in my life. I never really had a “go to” person as Meredith and Christina were on Grey’s Anatomy were. I think that is probably one of the things that draws me to that show. I can at least vicariously live through those characters to get some of the things I might have missed in life.
This week’s morning posts will continue be a philosophical look at life. If you have anything to add to my thoughts they are very much welcomed. I hope I don’t bore or scare you away with the types of fundamental feelings I will likely be addressing. I think by the end of the week these thought will be out of my system….