End Of Life Trauma – Starting At The End

I have been away from RJsCorner for more than two months now dealing with health issues of my beloved wife. I will start off with the end and then take you through the process to how we got here. My wife of 36 years passed away on Wednesday and was buried yesterday. Yeah, we had our spats like all married couples did, but she was quite literally the love of my life.

She was also the foundation for me dealing with the hearing world and coping with being an Aspie. I am just not sure if she is replaceable in that area? Her advice to me toward the end was to “chill out and be patient”. I will try to heed her words everyday.

That’s enough for today, starting next Wednesday I will be telling you on a weekly basis about this very traumatic two and a half month period and how I coped, and maybe more importantly didn’t cope, what was thrown at me. I will limit these types of post to Wednesday so as not to depress you too much. 😵‍💫

I am still in the process of reformatting RJsCorner toward its new direction. If you have any suggestions, I encourage you to give them to me.

13 thoughts on “End Of Life Trauma – Starting At The End

  1. Oh, RJ, I am so sorry to learn of your wife’s passing. I was aware of her recent health struggles, but did not grasp the seriousness. While you poked fun at her on your blog, it was obvious the two of you had built a special bond.

    Being without your “ears” and having someone who knew how to live with your Aspie issues will make things more difficult. Your wife’s advice to be patient is probably the wisest approach for now. Knowing you, I am quite confident you will find a positive path forward. But, during your struggles, gain comfort from friends, both real and in your blogging universe, who are with you every step of the way.

    Betty and I give you a big virtual hug and wish for you all the very best in the days and months ahead. Even though we have never met, we consider you a dear friend.

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    1. Oh Bob and Betty, I too consider you dear friends, and some day soon we just might actually meet in person. I am planning to do a bucket list item in the fall to drive the length of US 1. I hope to accomplish that after your area cools down and has fewer fires. 😉

      Thanks for the thoughts and encouragements… I take them to heart.

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  2. Sincere condolences. I can only echo what my AZ colleague Bob Lowry said so well. Wishing you the best in the time ahead – we will be rooting for you.

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    1. Thanks Jackie. Yvonne made it clear in the final days that she did not want to be mourned, but instead she wants everyone to celebrate her life, and our time together. She has a big clan in northern Wisconsin, and we will soon have a celebration dinner for her there. Plenty of beer and cheese. 🙄

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  3. I am only now catching up on my blog reading. So sorry to hear of your loss. Hope you like it in the retirement home. At least you will have other people around, but of course nothing can replace the loss of your wife. We all grieve in our own way. We don’t know what will happen to us. Good luck on the journey. We feel alone in our grief, but know that there are other people who are also experiencing the same pain.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, Donna. Yes, I miss here greatly, but life goes on. The retirement community experience has been a pleasant one for me, much better than I imagined. The quality of service and care here is simply phenomenal. Since my wife was seven years older than me and has not been in good health for several years, this was not an unexpected thing.

      I really expected that coping by myself with the hearing world as a deaf Aspie would be intolerable, but so far it has been a manageable thing. More stories about that in future posts, I’m sure.

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  4. I have been moving across country and am, just now, catching up. I am so sorry for your loss. I’ll be reading along about your journey.

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  5. Like Donna, I am just now catching up with blog reading. I love the things you say and have said about your wife now and in the past. I’ll now look for other Wednesday posts to read more. As someone who has an inherited hearing loss and who tests rather high on tests for Asperger’s, my husband has often been my buffer as I deal with multiple other health issues, just as I sometimes am the buffer for him. He makes the phone calls to the office with the soft-spoken receptionist. I figure out his techy problems. We have a deaf granddaughter, so I understand that “hearing loss” and “deaf” are two different animals. I send you all good vibes, kind thoughts, and anything else I can muster.

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  6. Thanks for all the kind words, Linda, on this and several other posts. Yes, it sounds like we have much in common. My wife did all the telephone calls for me, as most of the medical community is still locked in the 20th century and have not embraced the now available message portals.

    I will get around to commenting on your input on other posts soon.

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