Here I am almost 8 months since my wife’s heart attack that ended her life, and I am still dealing with these end-of-life issues. One of the many things you have to do when you lose a spouse is to change who your healthcare power-of-attorney is. That is what I am going through right now, and I think this, and signing my new will, will finish all this up, or at least I hope so. I never dreamed that it would take this long. But, that is a story for another post. This one is about whom you select at your healthcare-POA and what you want them to know.
Since I have no children, I ended up choosing my niece for this task. We sat down recently and had a long discussion about those last few days of life. My wife was terribly afraid of death, and that just prolonged the suffering that she and I had to endure. I made it clear that I don’t want to repeat her process. I said, “just pull the plug” and she humorously strongly agreed. With that, I knew I picked the right person.
To me, the quality of life is infinitely more important than the quantity. I simply don’t want to stretch out my life locked to a nursing home bed for months or even weeks. Just pull the plug.
I don’t fear death. I have lived a pretty good life, so I’m ready. My father died two years older than I am now. Strangely, his father and grandfather did the same. 🥴 So, for several years now I have become settled that I will likely follow their paths. I kinda think of the time I have left as “borrowed”. That doesn’t scare me except for the fact that I don’t want to waste any of what I have left. If I should live beyond that date, I will continue to live toward my new life’s purpose as I will post about next week.
Anyway, next week I will finally sign all the legal documents, and then it is just on to making the best use of the time that the Lord gives me.
I like the saying that everyone want’s to get to heaven but no one wants to die to get there.
As usual I have a different view of that.
2 thoughts on “Quality Of Life…Just Pull The Plug”
That must have been a relief to have your niece agree. My husband and I have named each other to make these decisions, and we each have written advance directives. We’ve also been clear about our wishes in conversations with our daughters. I hope the advance directives relieve them of the feeling that they’re making the decision for us and questioning whether they made the right one. It’s a calmer feeling, don’t you think, allowing you to go forward freely knowing that you’ve done all you can to both avoid an end-of-life experience that’s prolonged and also take away as much of the burden as you can on those who will be consulted.
Of course my wife was my healthcare POA, but since we didn’t have any children I had to look further to find someone I trusted. The side effect of this is that I have come to know my niece much better than I had before.
Having daughters to take over that task when one of you dies is a nice thing. It is one less headache the surviving spouse has to face, and believe me there are many.