As what happens to most of us, life turns on moments. There is that time when we clearly see that our future is about to dramatically change due to one moment in time. I can cite six clear times when that has happened to me.
- College graduation – It was the first time in my life that I didn’t have to worry about spending nickels and dimes. I could buy things without worrying how I would pay for them. But, even today 52 years later, I am still a spendthrift. 🙃
- Marriage – I was almost 40 years-old before I got married. I had given up any hope of finding someone who could love me. My Aspie traits were front and center, but I didn’t know they had a name. When that day came my life was radically different.
- When I became deaf – I was hearing impaired for most of my adult life, but when I lost that last shred of hearing my life changed radically. Without any sense of sound, lipreading becomes almost impossible. I thank the Lord, that I had someone there to help me through this moment.
- Retirement – I was one of those fortunate people who managed to work for the same company for 30 years. When I retired I had a well-funded IRA, 401K, and monthly pension check. That meant I could do almost anything I wanted for the rest of my life. I was no longer obliged to give someone up to 60 hours/week of my life. I struggled for the first few years, but finally managed to realize that I could do what I wanted.
- When I discovered I am an Aspie – I knew all my life that something was different about me. Socially, I just didn’t have any idea on what to do. I was almost ashamed that I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. When I discovered that many of these characteristics had a name and I wasn’t the only one to have them, it changed my life.
- Death of my wife – After 35 years of marriage, my wife died. We had our ups and downs, but I totally realize that she will be the only true love in my life. I continue to struggle living without her love and constant assistance in living in the hearing and social worlds.
How about you? I would love to hear about the moments in your life that turned your life in another direction.
RJ's Corner 
I left a secure job with a well-respected company to help a startup begin a new business in another city. Six months later I was fired.
Suddenly, I was without a way to support my wife and two very young daughters, in a new city, far from any family, bills for the the move still arriving, a mortage on a new house, and the basic requirement to feed and clothe us.
After a two months of panic and self-pity, I realized my only valid option was to start my own business. Long days and nights, lots of mac and cheese, and a year of buying nothing that wasn’t absolutely necessary produced a new venture that was on solid footing. It grew into the way I supported the family for the next twenty years and allowed me to retire in my early 50s.
Trust in what I had learned and a belief in myself turned a potential disaster into a tremendously satisfying career.
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Yeah, that definitely sounds like a turning-moment to me. Since I was schooled in the wrong profession, I was pretty bored during the first half of my professional career. I contemplated leaving, but the security of a monthly check always kept me there. Thank heavens as the second half I found my dream job. I, too, retired in my early 50s as the new millennium dawned.
We share some very different life experiences but always manage to find some commonality. Say hello to Betty for me, I think of you guys often…
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Starting teaching (something I had wanted to do all of my life) and meeting my husband-to-be en route, getting married (didn’t stop smiling all day – so much so that my face hurt by the end of it!), birth of both of our kids, recently accepting that I am a fellow Aspie (which made perfect sense and I knew something about it already from my teacher training), taking the gargantuan step of leaving teaching after nearly 15 years (for so many reasons) ….
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Love your moments franceslouise. Especially the smiling all day. That brought back some very pleasant experiences from my wedding day too. I envy you for having your work life figured out very early in life but, I can also understand some of the many reasons you have left after 15 years. But, of course you know that you gave some kids lessons that carry them on for the rest of their lives.
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