About 2023 & Getting Out Of The DQ Mode

2022 was a very challenging year for me, even in my RetCom (retirement community). I tried many ways to live with so many others who were suddenly around me. I had some disappointing failures, but also a few successes. As a result, I have high expectations for this new year. 2023 will be about building on those few successes and not letting DQ take hold of me anymore. More about DQ later.

I made the Food Committee in my RetCom this year and have attended my first meeting. It was pretty informal, and I seemed to dominate it with all my input. I don’t know if I will be invited back. I have a long history in food management, so I think I can provide some valuable assistance in improving services here. But, the question is, is the staff ready to hear my comments, and more importantly, will they act upon constructive criticism? I will let you know on that one on a later post. Our chef likes to think that he is running a restaurant, but the problem with that it is a forced restaurant in that the residents pay $350/month whether we eat there or not.

I hope I will be living in another apartment sometime this year. I think my stay here will be more enjoyable when that happens. Although I love the arrangement of my 850 sq ft apartment, unfortunately it looks out on the service drive, and my 180-degree view is of the assisted living wing and life care wing. I get a good look at all the delivery trucks and also all the ambulances that come and go daily. I just want a less depressing view.

The second reason I want to move is that where I sleep each night is where my wife took her last breaths. I think about that almost every time I lay down to sleep. I know I shouldn’t, but that thought still troubles me almost eighteen months later.

Now on to being a lot less DQ. No, I am not talking about frequent trips to Dairy Queen. Instead, it is about getting into the Don Quixote mode where I am constantly jousting at windmills.

My very nature is to always be on the lookout for ways to improve things, and I mean ALL things. My mind constantly swirls around the thought “If only we did xxx things would be better…” I just can’t seem to let things go just as they are when they aren’t up to my expectations. I am not really a perfectionist as I believe in the 80/20 rule. That is, 80% of the result comes from 20% of the effort. Enough said, I’m sure you get the idea.

I just need to learn how to ignore possible improvements and accept more things as they sometimes are. No one, or nothing, is ever perfect. Presently, I have no idea how to accomplish this, but I hope to learn at least a few techniques to make that happen. If I can just do that, I think 2023 will have some joyful times.

Do you have any special projects for this new year?

2 thoughts on “About 2023 & Getting Out Of The DQ Mode

  1. I have an unusual project this year: conquer my fear of foreign travel so I can fully enjoy our trip to France in the fall and not ruin it for Betty.

    Whenever I am in a travel situation where I don’t feel in control, I become stressed and anxious for the first several days. Facing a language I don’t speak, using money that is unfamiliar, and driving on the “wrong” side of the road make for a rough setting for me.

    This is a trip my wife really wants to take and enjoy. So, my goal is to learn to get my irrational fear under control so we can enjoy Paris and a river cruise on the Seine.

    Not as easy as it sounds.


    1. I certainly understand where you are coming from, Bob. Not understanding what people say to me is now just second nature. I can remember when I told my wife that we were going to spend some months in Guadalajara, Mexico for my job. When we picked up the company car, we discovered that it was nearly out of gas, so her first independent experience was to get the tank filled up. We stopped at the gas station and managed to tell the attendant to fill it up, but soon he came back with a question he kept repeating. My wife went into a panic mode, frozen with what to do. I figured it out when he made a twisting mode with his wrist. It turned out that the gas tank has a locked cap, and he was asking for the key. Long story short, we got our gas and Yvonne eventually figured out how to communicate, even without me. Her time in Mexico turned out to be very satisfying indeed.

      I would love to take a trip to Britain, Australia, and New Zealand, but I don’t see that happening now. I would face the same thing there because sign language is different in each country. Being in control is also a placebo for me also. You can overcome that with some practice.

      Yes, Betty is much more adventurous than you or me. I pushed Yvonne out of her comfort zone, and she did the same for me. I’m sure that Betty will be there for you when those challenging times come, and you two will look back on the trip with much joy.


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