I think maybe in another year or two I will be ready to live in a RetCom apartment. But I realize that I have been in one for the last five years.  Looking back of course is much easier than looking forward. I now realize that I didn’t need to become a RetCom resident five years ago. I’m not saying that I regret the decision I made back then, but maybe my life, or at least my atitude, would have been better if I had joined a 55+ apartment community instead. I know my wallet certainly would be fuller.

I realize now that some of the lessons I learned could have been put off, but these realizations would eventually have to be learned. That time is now. I don’t suspect it will be long now that I am relegated to some type of mobility vehicle. 

Let’s go over some of the reasons to put off joining a RetCom: 

I don’t like being around old people especially when they disappear so quickly.

That is difficult to say, but in my RetCom about one in five die every year and that is a constant reminder that lingers in the back of everyone’s mind. The residents didn’t do anything wrong, they just got old. It is just disturbing to me to constantly be reminded of my own mortality, especially before it had to happen. At home getting older is not so visible, you can easily ignore it because you are not reminded of it every time you step outside your apartment.

I don’t like being hit face on by the fact that my independence will soon be over.

I have spent most of my life in a very independent state. I am still  intellectually and physically active, so I find the community’s pace way too slow.

I don’t like organized activities, especially those that are sedentary.

I know it’s not but sedentary seems to be the only kind I find here. Being occupied is not the same as having fun, and sedentary is about the only kind of activity RetComs seem to have. One of the sad facts is that most RetComs make the transition to a RetCom harder than it need be. Being occupied is just not the same thing as being engaged. Most RetComs have concentrated too much on services and not enough on celebrating resident’s identity.

It seems like I almost have lost my identity.

If RetComs were more than just a place where the residents go to be cared for, and not a place where we can continue living after we join them. Instead of giving us all the sedentary activities, why not encourage the resident’s to continue their lives that they lived before they joined their RetCom. They need to encourage us to teach a class,  start a walking group, write for the monthly newsletter, or any number of other activities that we were accomplished at before we joined them.

Closing this post out, aging will always be  part of a RetCom, but it doesn’t have to be the only part. RetComs need to encourage people to continue living as they did before they walk into their doors.

When RetComs create places where we older adults can still contribute and not concentrate as much on our limitations, RetCom living can be more of a continuation of life instead of just a waiting room for God.