To get a good start in this series I will be adding some additional posts to this weekly series.
Is Narcissism always a destruct thing? – No definitely not, all of us are narcissists in one degree or another. We all need a certain degree of self-esteem and feelings of worthiness to cope in the world today. Here is a little about that from one of my source books:
Is Self good or is it bad? It would not be possible to function, let alone survive, without some degree of investment in the Self. Without attention to ourselves, we would remain undeveloped and unaware, our talents lying dormant and our values unformed. In a world without ego, there would be no originality, no color, no contrast. Variety would cease to exist, and choice would become unnecessary. Even love would be meaningless if there were no “I” to be smitten with “you.”
Hotchkiss, Sandy (2008-06-20). Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism . Free Press. Kindle Edition.
It is just when our self-love drowns out other necessary characteristics that it becomes destructive. When it reaches the level called Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) it becomes tragically destructive, especially for those who live with a Narcissist on a day to day basis or those who have to live with the consequences of their fanaticism.
One of the dominant characteristics of an extreme narcissists is self-love and the need for constant admiration to the exclusion of just about everything and everyone else.
Now here is my personal story about a narcissist’s self-love:
I knew my mother up until I was about 9 years old. That is when she abandoned us in search of a better life for herself. Even at an early age I knew there was something different about her. All of her conversations usually centered around herself and continued to be so all of her life. She thought the best Christmas presents she could give to her kids were pictures of herself. All her life she always had big portraits of herself displayed around her homes. She always put on unwarranted airs of “fame and fortune”
that I knew were not true. I didn’t know for sure but even as a nine year old I thought that was just not normal.
At times mother could be very charming but there were other times when she was a very spiteful person who told us young boys to hate our father because of something he did that she didn’t like. Everything was about her. She just didn’t seem to have any capacity of love for me and that was probably the reason I became pretty much the opposite of her in many regards. More on that in later posts.
My father was almost the exact opposite of my mother. He had very low self-esteem and usually said very little. He was a good looking man, much like Errol Flynn of those days, so that is probably why she was attracted to him. He seemed to always go with whatever she wanted. I would learn years later that this is a typical characteristic of someone who is a victim of a narcissist.