My Life Sucks…

I think there is a pretty fair part of the folks in this country who think their life sucks. They haven’t had a raise in umpteen years. They have to have someone to blame and that person is often those they see as getting the “breaks” in life.

2018-04-07_16-07-22.pngIt’s pretty hard for them to admit that for the most part “my life sucks because of me”. That reality just doesn’t sink for most of us.  They say they are stuck in an area with no good paying jobs but they never consider moving to a more prosperous area.  They say the only good jobs are those requiring an education but never consider the need to learn anything beyond what they presently know. It’s just too easy to blame others for their problems.  The morbidly obese guy says “poor me” and then consumes 6,000 calories per day and just doesn’t seem to see the connection.

Those of us who have had some success in life have for the most part worked to get it.  It wasn’t handed to us on a gold platter like it was for #CO3 and others like him. For us, the adversities in our life have reinforced our character. We did something to change our circumstances instead of just moaning about them.

I want to close this post with an anonymous quote:

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Quit blaming others for your circumstances in life. It is often just that simple.

 

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#CO3 = Current Oval Office Occupant

Turning Back the Odometer…

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canstockphoto38063363.jpgI like old cars and I am kinda proud of passing on some of my experiences in life here on RJsCorner. Yeah, there are things, actually quite a few, that I would like to have been different but even the undesired things are an important part of my life’s experiences, that looking back have made me who I am.

If I hadn’t been deaf I wouldn’t have the level of empathy that I do. If I had not grown up in a single very stoic parent household I wouldn’t have the understanding of such things as I do. As another quote from Will says “Adversity builds character”. It made me who I am and I am quite proud of that fact.

I see so many people today that try to turn back their odometers.  They get hair transplants or cosmetic surgery to hide their years.  I can truthfully say that I am proud of the way I look. It does indeed show I have traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

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Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom

2018-03-08_09-02-43I get weekly quotes from iHearts143Quotes to help me understand life. This one particularly got my attention. It might seem strange to some but I have often said that  I am a better person because of my deafness. What I mean by that is that through the challenges I have faced because of my deafness has made me much more aware of those who struggle in life. My empathy factor went up several orders of magnitude because of my deafness.

I have come to realize that my inflictions and afflictions (ha) add to the quality of my life. I was poor growing up but didn’t really know it. But because I was poor I have more empathy for those who struggle to keep their head above water.

We all face wounds in our lives and if we turn off the self-pity they produce and try to learn something from them we are better, wiser as a result.

A Free Ride vs. Earning Your Way

This post has been sitting in my “draft” box for quite some time because I just don’t seem to see it as complete. I don’t want to insult people who think differently on this subject but I want to get my point across as to the potential harm being privileged might cause. Complete or not its time has come to move it to a daily post.

I want to admit upfront that I am prejudiced on this topic. When I find that a person has pretty much had a free ride in life I become very skeptical about their successes and accomplishments. Maybe this is due to my having to earn my own way for so much of my life. Maybe it is jealousy, who knows. I am one to believe that adversity builds character and when it is absent privilege dominates a person’s attitude.

canstockphoto24086664When I was ready to go to college I applied for hardship scholarships but found out that since my mother who abandoned me when I was ten went on to marry a pretty rich guy I did not qualify for them. My mother had no inclination to help me with college as she didn’t see anything in that for her.  I did manage to borrow $200 from her once because I was panicked that my tuition payment was late. When I finally earned enough to pay her back the check I sent was quickly cashed. I understand now why that happened. Narcissism is totally about self, there is just no room for others in a narcissist’s mind.

Getting back to the topic at hand, some people probably think I mean when I say “free rides” are people like the current Oval Office occupant who was given a “mere $4 million” (equivalent to $40 million now) to start his way in the world. Yes, he and people like him are absolutely included in this list but I go beyond that to other categories.

Many parents think they are giving their children a headstart in the world by providing for all their needs. But that often leads to a lack of empathy for others.  Having to earn your own way breeds humility and empathy for those who are worse off than we are. Privilege too often breeds contempt which often manifests itself in looking down on others.  The irony is that the privileged are more likely to demand that if people cannot pull themselves up by their bootstraps then it is their own fault.

I just hope that all those parents out there who are giving their kids a free ride in life are also giving them strong lessons in empathy for others who don’t have the advantages that have been given to them.

On another topic in this area, I am very much in favor of the inheritance tax or “death tax” as my opponents like to call it.  Prior to income taxes that was one of the primary ways to fund the government. In my humble opinion, inherited money probably ruins more lives than it helps and the recently passed tax legislation will only make this problem worse. Inherited wealth should at least be counted as income to the recipient and taxed at that rate.