Forced Associations…

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Sometimes we are forced into a group not of our choosing. In the working world, we most often don’t get to chose who our workmates are. They are chosen for us. It’s been a while since I was in that situation, but due to my deafness and Aspie traits that was about the only time I was eventually welcomed as a valuable member of a group.

The last couple of years in my corporate work world I led a team of five software developers in providing tools, now called apps, for a three hundred person engineering division. When the team was first formed our interactions were awkward to say the least. But it didn’t take long before we worked out methods to communicate with each other.

At that time, in the late 1990s, there was no such thing as a speech-to-text tool that could be quickly fired up when we had to talk. That would be more than a decade away. But eventually written notes and chalkboard messages worked out well. My team became one of the best teams in our division. When I retired, or maybe I should say when I was downsized, at my request, tears were flowing about my departure. My team was going to miss me. I had some good friends there who valued me for who I was.

That was the last time I have ever considered myself part of a group. It was a forced association that we made work. If only I could find a way to make that happen again…

2 thoughts on “Forced Associations…

  1. There are people from my work that I miss since I retired. As much as we like them, most of us seem to drift apart with only an occasional lunch or dinner and maybe a BD card. It happened when I changed jobs, too. It seems in our retirement, we have family and the friends we were close enough to that we keep in touch more frequently. But I think the pandemic has changed everything, and I’m still trying to figure out how much is my new normal including my age/retirement status vs what might change back. The world feels different to me now.


    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Laurel. Yeah, I expect the pandemic will cause some long-term change. Men just don’t seem to keep past friends as much as women. I was amazed that my late wife still had several good friends from her youth. I just never managed to do that.


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