Today is the first anniversary of my wife’s death. I still think of her everyday, but maybe a little less often now. Just before we got married, she asked me if we were making the right decision? I told her “only time would tell”. Well, we lasted for 34 years, I guess I can say it was a good decision. When I went deaf two years into our marriage, Yvonne was there for me. I am afraid to even imagine what would have happened if she was not there. She supported me in ways I am only just beginning to fully fathom.
She was seven years older than me, and according to the statistics women generally live to be seven years older than men when they die. Being an engineer the math added up as perfect.
I always thought we would be alone together in our old age. I thought it would work out that neither of us have to be alone alone.
In this past year, I have been trying to decide where I will live going forward. I have learned that where you live is secondary to who you are living with. In my case, I am alone now. No wife, no pets, just me. That is a pretty depressing thought, especially on this particular day. I’m pretty sure my circumstance will not change from what they are now, so I have to learn to live with them. Being a deaf Aspie, I have had two strikes against me for decades now, I hope this forced aloneness is not the third one. I have to do everything necessary to ensure that it isn’t. This might just be my biggest battle yet.
I miss her terribly, but life must go on,
“Life is there for the living, don’t waste a minute of it”