It has been at least 60 years since I read the book Don Quixote. It took me almost a lifetime to understand about “aiming for too big or impossible goals”. I do remember that he went around the country fighting battles that were simply impossible for him to win.
All my life I have looked for problems to solve. It’s not that some of the problems were too big for me, it’s more that I didn’t have the knowledge or maybe capability to resolve them at the time. Solving problems has become thoroughly engrained in my psyche. It has been who I am. I imagine my Aspie traits have something to do with this, but I don’t know that for sure.
I have recently come to realize that I need to put these windmill days behind me. For one thing, no one listens to old people anymore, so anything I say just bounces off. For another, I simply don’t want to use the final years of my life continuing to find problems to fix. It’s time to just sit back and enjoy the days I have left. In order to do that I need to get out of the “fixer” mode and into the laissez-faire mode.
I vow to quit seeing everything as a problem that needs to be fixed, or improved.
Going forward I will take the path of letting things that I can’t really do anything about take their own course. If I can accomplish that, my life will be more peaceful and settled. I need that as otherwise my depression may take an even deeper cut into me.
Letting go of politics was the start of this process, but now it must continue into other areas of my life. Some areas of RJsCorner, like the political wing, will likely cease to exist, while others will change their purpose.
For my peace of mind, I would love to be able to happily live my remaining life as Thoreau did in his book Walden Pond, but if I tried that I’m sure I would be bored out of my mind. So, I won’t even attempt to go that far. 🥴
I will continue to tell you stories of my life, my interests, and my view of the world here on RJsCorner and I hope that you will continue coming around for a visit. I would certainly miss you if you left.
The beginning of my 77th year will come around in the coming month which starts tomorrow, and I am determined to make that year more settled than if I just continue the path I am. My father and grandfather died in their 77th year, I will not be surprised if I follow that trend, but if I don’t, I intend to celebrate each year I have left. I can’t do that until I break this stranglehold of depression that has plagued me for so many years of my life.
4 thoughts on “No More Windmills…”
A wise decision from a wise man.
Thanks for your continuous support, Bob. I don’t know what I would do without it.
I always enjoy your blog and will continue to follow you in your adventure through life and hoping you find your road is smooth without too many potholes!
Thank you, Rosie.