Living On Borrowed Time…

The expected life span of men born in the U.S. is 76.4 years

I knew this day would come, or at least I hoped it would. I am now 76.4 years old, so at least I have lived at as long as expected. I kinda look at it now as I am living on borrowed time and should make the most of each day as it comes. But, of course, that is really how we should look at each new day. Don’t let a day go by that you haven’t at least tried to fulfill a reason for being here.

But, the main thing this post is going to address is

If someone could tell you when you were going to die, would you want to know?

If I were in my 50s, I probably would answer that question with “No”, but now that I am living on borrowed time, I’m pretty sure I would say “Yes”. Let’s talk about the reasons for that answer.

I would love to know when my end will come, or maybe more importantly when my life will take the final turn to the end. Having that information would allow me to live my life to its fullest.

I am currently in a retirement community paying $100+ per day for a 850 sq ft apartment and a handful of meals a month. Yes, there are medical facilities available in the building. All I would have to do is wear a fob and push the button and no matter where I am in the building and assistance will be there in minutes. When the time comes that I will actually need these types of things, I can almost seamlessly transition to an assisted-living wing, and then one to a life-care wing. I have been here going on two years now and have never used what I am paying for. But, the question is, when will that time come?

That same amount that I pay here would get me a 2+ bedroom, 2000 sq ft penthouse apartment almost anywhere else in town. I mainly stay here because I won’t have any support when things go bad. There is basically no one that I can count on to look after my needs when they become more restrictive. But, another reason I stay here is for the camaraderie. I just enjoy the daily conversations with support staff and residents.

If I knew that I would live four more years, I could then plan on being here when I really need to be here. It’s not that I can’t afford to be here now, but more that I grew up in a very financial challenged world where I literally pinched pennies. I also seem to be living in a 1960 era where gasoline was $0.28 a gallon and a haircut costs a buck, so a $100 a day seems pretty extravagant to be spending on myself.

Would you want to know how long you have to live?

4 thoughts on “Living On Borrowed Time…

  1. I wouldn’t want to know. My anxiety would be on overdrive. But I can see why someone might. I recently read “The Measure” — a novel about this very thing if you’re interested.


      1. I think I would want to know. I do live each day to the fullest, but I would want to know that my dog and cat are cared for. I don’t want to be one of those that are dead for days and then someone calls for a welfare check and finds my decaying body. It might sound morbid, but it’s life!


        1. Hello Karen, it’s so good to hear from you. I hope you are coping and getting along well.

          As you have read, I am of the same mind as you. I still remember when we lost our last dog in 2017, we decided that she would be the last one, another dog would likely survive us. I was very fortunate that when Yvonne died, her cat was quickly adopted by our neighbors.

          I will likely stay where I am as going into an apartment in the city would certainly mean going it alone, and smelling up the room after I die. 🙃

          I have thought of you often in the last year or so. Please keep in touch.


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