Having My Say

Make Way For Tomorrow, And All The Days Yet To Come…

Sometimes I get the feeling that I am just marking off each day as they come, waiting for the end. That is no kind of life. All of us need a purpose for getting up each morning. Just marking off the days is not good enough. But, that seems like what RetCom (retirement community) life is all about for at least some of us.

I have been here in my RetCom for going on three years now. It is difficult to believe it has been that long. The first year, I struggled, trying to fit in socially. The second year, my primary goal was using my experience and skills trying to contribute to making my RetCom a better place for the residents. The third year has been about coming to the realization that the first two years were mostly an unsuccessful waste of time, and finally realizing I get the most pleasure from simply being alone with my “projects”. 

I say the first two years goals were unsuccessful, and that is primarily my own fault. I should have realized that I simply couldn’t because of my Aspie traits, accomplish socialization. I couldn’t do anything to help the residents and staff overcome their fundamental resistance to change. Even simple things like adding some songs from at least the 1960s to the community songbook met with resistance.

That finally brings me to the point of this post.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

I’m sure that many of you recognize the quote above as being part of Alcoholic’s Anonymous, but I kinda think it should apply to everyone’s life.

AA has 12 spiritual principles of recovery, including: 

Acceptance, Hope, Faith, Courage, Honesty, Patience, Humility, Willingness, Brotherly love, Integrity, Self-discipline, Service

I need to learn more about AA so that I can give you another post on this subject soon.

For me, just realizing that even trivial things, are difficult to change in my current environment, is a lesson I needed to learn. You can’t force some people to move into the 21st century, even if it is almost a quarter of the way over.

3 thoughts on “Make Way For Tomorrow, And All The Days Yet To Come…”

  1. Although I’ve known that saying forever, I had no idea it originated with AA. Wow. As far as the days ticking by, that’s life as a senior. However, I learned long ago, if you want to do something or learn something or be something, you have to go ahead and do it or learn it or be it. Waiting for others is an exercise in futility and time wasted. Recognize that we have our needs and they have theirs. Move along and find your bliss. (I actually hate that saying but it seems to fit in this case.) I’m sorry you feel lonely. I think eventually we all get there. Does your retcom not have clubs?

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    1. Thanks for the comments and well wishes, A&O. I, too, firmed believe there are three things you should do every day. “Think For Yourself, Question Everything, and Never stop learning”. That has been the theme for RJsCorner for most of its 15-year existence.

      On the socializing thing, I worked diligently here at my RetCom for most of the first year trying to fit in socially. For two reasons, that proved to me much more work than the benefit that might be gained. Because I am deaf, I usually speak louder than most others. That puts off many people, it seems. The second one is that I am autistic and social stuff is, for the most part, very stressful and strange. No one appears to be able to look past these issues to discover who I really am. I gave it a year and then decided to just accept my living on the fringes status.

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