Listening To Your Favourite Music…

I2018-08-23_07-45-00.jpg know I have been more stressed out in the last 22 months than I probably have any time in my life. It is stressful to see the possible annihilation of our democracy unfold before your eyes.  It is pitiful to see the Oval Office occupied by a compulsive liar, cyberbullier, and narcissist. I couldn’t have imagined that possibility just a few years ago. I just can’t seem to be able to do much about my stress except to boycott every new source.  I have for the past couple months limited my contact to the political world to ten minutes a day. That helps but it is not enough. Being a political junkie who thinks it is important to stay informed that is about all I can do.

When I came across the quote here from my Facebook friends over at the Idealist, it showed me maybe why I can get no relief.  Being deaf makes even blasting my favourite music is totally ineffective. I sure do wish I could listen to Bob Dylan, Peter Paul & Mary, Don McClean, and Simon & Garfunkel.  I’m sure that would drain some of this anxiety built up inside me.  The last time I listened to any of them it was from those big black disks that kids today have absolutely no idea of what that is.

I do have several written lyrics from my favorite music that I pull out once in a while when I am absolutely alone and sing to myself. At least that helps a little 🙂

Autism and Meltdown

canstockphoto13659526.jpgBeing a person with some strong Aspie traits, I just don’t handle stressful situations well.  Fortunately, I don’t totally lose it as the word meltdown infers but I quit acting like an adult and instead am a panicked kid. In autism studies, these episodes are called meltdowns so I will call them that for the purposes of this post.

One of my most prominent stressors is criticism. I am plainly oversensitive. I often perceive my wife’s criticism as calling me a complete idiot. When those situations occur I frequently go into at least some level of meltdown. I start shouting back about how she doesn’t think I can flush a toilet without screwing it up!  Usually, when the episode is over I can evaluate what happened with a more adult view but that doesn’t ameliorate the damage done to both of us by these episodes.

From the studies I have read I know that over time, these types of situations alienate friends and peers. They have also caused marriage problems and even divorce.

My meltdowns for sensory episodes are less frequent as I just don’t allow myself to get caught up in them. Instead, I either avoid the causes or quickly flee the situation.  I don’t like crowds and especially people standing behind me. For that reason, I often shop in the off-hours. My photography helps with crowds.  I tell myself I am there to document the event and therefore manage to control my uneasiness more easily.

I know the severity of my personal meltdowns is much less than others on the spectrum. I am grateful for that and sympathetic to others who are worse than I.

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