Being a person with some strong Aspie traits, I just don’t handle stressful situations well. Fortunately, I don’t totally lose it as the word meltdown infers, but I quit acting like an adult and instead am a panicked kid. In autism studies, these episodes are called meltdowns, so I will call them that for the purposes of this post.

One of my most prominent stressors is criticism. I am plainly oversensitive. I often perceive my wife’s criticism as calling me a complete idiot. When those situations occur, I frequently go into at least some level of meltdown. I start shouting back about how she doesn’t think I can flush a toilet without screwing it up! Usually, when the episode is over, I can evaluate what happened with a more adult view, but that doesn’t ameliorate the damage done to both of us by these episodes.

From the studies I have read I know that over time, these types of situations alienate friends and peers. They have also caused marriage problems and even divorce.

My meltdowns or sensory episodes are less frequent as I just don’t allow myself to get caught up in them. Instead, I either avoid the causes or quickly flee the situation. I don’t like crowds, and especially people standing behind me. For that reason, I often shop in the off-hours. My photography helps with crowds. I tell myself I am there to document the event and therefore manage to control my uneasiness more easily.

I know the severity of my personal meltdowns is much less than others on the spectrum. I am grateful for that and sympathetic to others who are worse than I.

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 July 18,2017

Postscript August 1, 2025: It’s been eight years since I wrote the above words, and for the most part everything mentioned still rings true. My wife has been gone for 4 years now, so our spats don’t apply anymore, and in fact I sort of miss them.

The one thing that has changed is my environment. I am daily around about 200 people, whereas eight years ago it was just my wife and me. I have come to accept that, for the most part, my friendships here, if you even want to call them that, are almost always very casual.

I don’t have to wear many masks anymore, as I have settled down into a very personal LOMO (Life On My Own) mode that suits me very well.