I decided to let my creative juices flow a little more lately and attacked my blog header to make it a little more cheery. I know most of you guys probably don’t even notice the header but I don’t think you can avoid this one. 🙂 There is enough in the world today that is simply awful dreary. We need to let the sun shine more in our lives. This is a meager attempt to do a little of that.
The main themes for my blog are “Question Everything” and my “InSearchOfAmerica” project. I am adding another theme to that list and it is about complaining. It seems that everyone, me included, has a myriad of things to complain about in this world today. Lord knows with the narcissist in the Oval Office our complaints in many areas are certainly justified. Additionally, for decades now the quality of life continues going down instead of up for many of us. We have a right to complain about that but what good does just complaining do?
Complaining without doing something about it is just having a pity party or just plain whining. The upper right side of the header has the same message just in a different way. Complaining is not a conversation after all. So if you insists on complaining then you also need to start doing something constructive about your complaints. Offer solutions instead of just whining. No one likes whiners.
Looking at this from a higher level, one of the worst things you can do with your life is to live it in negativity. Until you find something to be enthusiastic about, your life often lacks purpose. Maybe you need to turn off your TV and look around you for things to be thankful for. Just don’t dwell on the negative too frequently.
Of course I need to take my own advice in this area and I am trying to do just that. I have a lot to be thankful for. But ignoring the problems around me is not the answer either. Facing them head on with a personal action plan no matter how meager is much better than just whining about them. That is one of my new mantras in life. I seem to have many of those don’t I? I guess you could call this new resolve an early New Year’s resolution but since those are most often forgotten I don’t want to do that. I’ll just call it a new perspective… how about that?
RJ's Corner 
RJ-
Saw new header yesterday. Colorful and contemporary.
Not a fan.
I just don’t appreciate that style of art.
So to follow your lead from today’s blog…
Please change it to something I like. I prefer something more realistic vs the abstract.
😄
But actually, based on your posts, I really don’t think this header reflects the “real you”. It almost seems like you are trying to “force” a change. Sort of incongruous from your real personality.
Like it does not fit your “in search of America” image. Which leans more toward the traditional in images. This header is more “artsy”.
On the other hand perhaps that’s what you are after. A significant change to something different to motivate. I did say “ wow that’s different- I wonder what RJ is up too” when I saw it.
Anyway, my 2 cents. Hope I did not offend.
If you did create that artwork yourself it is really good. I may not like it personally but I can appreciate the effort and talent involved in creating it.
Bob
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Thanks for the thoughts Bob. After reflecting on it, no you didn’t offend. Colorful and contemporary, yeah that is what I was going for. Sorry you don’t appreciate that. I know my post go to the dark side more than I really want, so your image of me probably comes from that. Yes, I am trying to force a basic change by the actions in this post. I want to become more positive and when I do criticize I will try to put forth an alternative to what is happening.
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I noticed the new header and I like it very much. I think you do have an artsy side as well as your analytical side so why not show it. Did you create it? Totally agree with you thoughts on negativity.
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Thanks Judy for liking the new header. The background picture is rented so to speak. It is actually a very small segment of a larger mural created by someone else. I do wish I more fully had that talent but have not yet accomplished the quality of the pic. It has surprised me that so many of the blogs I follow have gone to the dark side in the last year. So many seem to have almost given up hope for better times. That bothers me so I want in my own small way to counter that feeling.
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RJ- On your negativity thoughts. I often tell folks “the world does not work the way I think it should and it pisses me off” – usually with a smile. But I also say “I don’t carry a handgun in my car as I’m afraid I’ll use it” – also jokingly but it does often get a few shocked looks and people sort of leaning back. Old friends know I’m kidding but I think since we moved my negativity may be impacting my ability to make new friends. So I’m also working on the negativity thing – along with being a better listener. I think the two are connected as when I get negative I stop listening and just want to get my [excellent 🙂 ] opinion out there. I’m working on just shutting up and listening to others more It is really hard. As I think of it unfortunately you may not have this problem.
So that brings an interesting thought. As I think you live in a more rural part of Indiana how do you deal with your hearing loss? Do you have a support group or a way to help you deal with it. I assume a bigger city would offer more opportunities but living rural must be more difficult.
I ask as my SIL’s parents were both deaf (she is not) and her mother now lives alone in a assisted living facility as the only deaf person there – she is so lonely.
Hope that’s not too personal.
BTW – While I function ok I am ADD [which I think is part of the Aspie spectrum) and my conversations tend to jump around a bit and I may not be as sensitive to others as I should be.
Bob
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Wow Bob, I need to write a post on your questions but for now will try to give you some quick answers.
I am not very good either of telling a joke so that people realize it is a joke. Yeah being a better listener is a very critical part of getting away from all the negativity. We seem to yell at each other across a wide divide but do a little listening.
I went deaf over 30 years ago now. In the first few years I did get some counseling from a larger city about 30 miles away but for the most part, I have pretty much been on my own since then. I am seldom around other deaf people and even when I am I find it difficult to follow their signing as my wife and I seem to have developed our own version over the years. And then there is the Signed English vs ASL radical difference that makes it difficult to understand some deaf, mainly those born instead of late-deafened such as me.
Loneliness is a big part of being deaf. Most people just won’t take the time to learn how to communicate with me and other outright refuse to use the tools I have accumulated to help them. I don’t understand that, but it is as it is. Then you toss in my Aspie traits and that makes communications even more difficult. I am seven years younger than my wife so I pretty sure I will outlive her, especially with her medical conditions. Since we had no children and my family is small, I too will likely end up alone in a CCRC community. I will probably end up talking to myself most of the day but that’s ok, as long as I have my blog friends to help me along the way.
If you haven’t looked at it yet, you might want to read my story about learning I have Aspie traits. You can find it on the right-hand side of the homepage. Whether I am an “official” Aspie or not I don’t care. But I do know that I have many of the characteristics of one. That realization helps me to sometime understand that other often see the world differently than I do. It helps me to learn a little more.
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