Looking For Your Soul Mate

This post is about the journey of finding that person who makes you feel whole. The person who you want to spend your life with. What I say just might surprise you, especially coming from a seventy-three-year-old.

Let me start out with some cautions and then some personal stories. I am by no means an authority in this area. In fact, I am probably the opposite of that. What I put here is just me “having my say”. Take is as an interesting insight from someone probably somewhat different from you. Now, on to my personal stories.

Due to my Aspie traits I was terrible at the dating scene. I seldom had more than two dates with the same person and rarely had a third one. I just couldn’t figure out what the other person was expecting, but it quickly became obvious that what I gave them is not what they wanted. Except in one case.

But I, like almost everyone I expect, dreamed of having someone in my life who shared my dreams and who I could talk to and would totally understand my feelings. Someone who liked what I liked. I will be blunt here and say that never happened for me. Yes, I am in my 33rd year of marriage and I do care deeply for my wife of all those years, but in many ways we are opposites. She is an avid homebody, and I am an adventurer. We have completely different likes in food and entertainment and most other areas of life.

Opposites make life interesting. We challenge each other with different views on most topics. I do thank the Lord that our political views are somewhat aligned. I also thank her for all the assistance in coping with the hearing world. I’m not sure if I could have done it on my own. But she, even after 33 years, just doesn’t get me and doesn’t seem to care to even try.

Finally, getting to my ultimate point with this post. A recent article in the New York Times spurred this post. The picture above is from that article (lick on it if you want to read the story). When I first saw this picture it looked like someone was marrying a child! My wife is seven years older than I, so I have a little experience in that area. 😆 But, upon reading the article I found out that the other person was another female.

The story is about how they clicked with each other from the very start. They are kindred spirits in life. Why should we limit our search just to the opposite sex? I admit that I am somewhat turned off by the sexual side of these relationships, but that is none of my business. I wonder if the morals of thirty-three years ago were the same as today whether I would have had better success in finding my soulmate. Just something I have been thinking about.

2 thoughts on “Looking For Your Soul Mate

  1. The episode of “The Good Place” that aired on Thursday had a reference to soulmates and whether they really exist. The answer was, No, there isn’t one person out there we must find to be happy. Instead, it is all about compromise, accommodation, some shared values, and happiness when we are together. We meet someone who we are comfortable spending time with. We continue to interact with that person until it is obvious that there is nothing worth continuing, or there is. Over time, the two people make a commitment to each other that may end in marriage, or a partnership relationship.

    As you note, it is none of our business which two people choose to spend significant time and energy with each other. But, I think we all can agree that a couple that loves each other is a good thing.


  2. Hi Bob, thanks for the sagely words. Of course, I realize that the “perfect match” doesn’t exist, but we can all dream of getting close to it, can’t we? 🥴 I’m sure it is a matter of degree. Opposites are a 1 whereas soulmates are a 10. All of us want as high a number as possible. What struck me about the source article are the words these two ladies chose to describe their relationship. Most of us can only dream that they can find a relationship like these two have.


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