Aspies & Grief

This post is a combination of my topics of Aspies, Philosophy, and Religion, but is centered around the topic of death. Those with Asperger’s just don’t see death as most do. And I kinda think that is a good thing. That is what this post is all about.

I have come across another Aspie blog that inspires me. It is entitled Pensive Aspie and ran from April 2014 to September 2017. I am slowly digesting the posts and will give you some slices along the way. Here is one about how those with Aspie traits handle grief.

I have always realized that I see death differently than most around me. The words above describe it better than I could, so I will just add a few comments to them.

Death to me is simply a logical end. I don’t fear or regret that I will likely die in the coming decade. That is just how it is. I hope in the time I have left I will leave a few more marks on the world. I don’t fear death, but I don’t want it to come any sooner than necessary.

My father is the closest person to me who has died. His life ended in the first days of this new millennium. It was the time when I was getting ready to move back to Indiana and I looked forward to spending more time with him. He died four months before that happened. I was sad that I couldn’t spend more time with him in his final years. I wanted to tell him that I realized how much he struggled in life just to take care of a couple of kids on a milkman’s pay after his wife abandoned him. I was sad but I never went through the classic stages of grief as shown in the title block above.

What brought my attention to the source blog were the words below. I see it very much the same way.

I have never understood why Christians grieve death. Instead of grieving death I want to celebrate the life and history left behind. In that way I guess I am aligned with the Irish and wakes. If my wife dies before me I will certainly have a wake to celebrate her life. But if the funeral is for the living as most proclaim, I can skip that part as I don’t need it. I celebrate the past and don’t mourn for a future that never was. It’s as simple at that to me.

2 thoughts on “Aspies & Grief

  1. I think most sorrow comes for what we all miss with the person. We have to let those go- sometimes slowly. The Jewish religion gives people a year. Islam says 24 hours. That is why the funeral is for the living not the dead.
    The grief that I witness is often a younger family- children left without a mother or father. Family left without a patriarch or matriarch when it is a tough time. Parents left without a child. I miss my father terrible, that does not mean that I am sad that he is on a different journey.
    Celebrations of life are much more common in my circles. We recommend the dead to heaven and prepare ourselves, with their memories, for our journey ahead. The prayers in a Catholic funeral center on these ideas.


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