Did I Have An Aspie Meltdown?

I make it no secret here at RJsCorner that I have significant Aspie traits. But, until recently I proclaimed that I don’t have Aspie meltdowns. I think I got that wrong. That is what this post is all about.

Let’s start out with my personal event that made me wonder whether I have anxiety meltdowns. But, before I get into the actual story I guess I need to give you some background. 🧐

Given my wife’s fragile condition I am convinced that if she gets Covid-19 she will most likely be one of the casualties. For that reason, I am very determined to prevent that from happening. About the only place I have gotten out to in the past six weeks is the local grocery store. I get up at 5:00 am and go to the store by six. Fortunately, I have a package of N95 masks that I wear for that weekly event. Now, finally on to the event

It was 6:00am when I entered the parking lot of our small-town local grocery store. But, since it is the only grocery in town there were about a half dozen cars already in the parking. I convinced myself that I could navigate the aisles without a close encounter, so I headed in the door. As I approached the produce section there were two people restocking the shelves and had no masks on. When I mentioned that fact to them one immediately reached into her pocket, the other said some words that I couldn’t hear. I told him more emphatically that there was no excuse for not wearing a mask when you are in the customer area.

I tried to calm down enough to explain that the mask was not really for his sake but for his customers, much the same as a surgeon’s mask is to protect the patient from the doctor. He also finally reached into his pocket for his mask. The second aisle I went to I encounter another employee with a mask. The fifth aisle of the eight aisle store a vendor was stocking the shelves and as usual, no mask. I avoided him by reverse tracking and going down the aisle from the other direction. As I was doing that another unmasked employee came out of the backroom pulling a skid of canned good. He temporarily stopped and sneezed into his hand and then proceed to the shelves. That was finally enough for me.

I want to make it clear that not all the employees were without masks. The ladies at the checkout counter and behind the deli were properly masked and gloved. As I was getting ready to leave I stopped and told the clerks that I just don’t feel safe in the store, so I will be going to a larger city 20 miles away from now on. I just lost it and said again and again “I don’t feel safe here”.

After this event could see that I have had meltdowns in the past but just didn’t recognize them as such. Now I question whether these meltdowns are due to anxiety, which is typically the case for Aspies or from depression as I have always claimed? That is what Wednesday’s post will be about.

2 thoughts on “Did I Have An Aspie Meltdown?

  1. I think if I had my phone with camera I might have taken photos of the employees with no masks. Then I would do a “contact us” on line with the store you shopped at and let them know you had a bad experience and can supply photos of the employees you were upset with. Minimally I would contact the store anyway – photos or not. They need to know even if they are the only store in town!! If the store has delivery service it might be better to avail yourself of that. It might be worth it in the end. Or better yet, see if a friend or relative can get the items you need and bring them to you.


    1. Thanks for the thoughts Karen, The store doesn’t have a website or contact page. They are a family-owned business.

      I was just too upset to do the pictures with my iPhone 11.


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