As far as I am concerned, having a satisfying life is all about challenges. When I no longer have anything that tests or stretches me I am the most prone to periods of depression. That is what this post is all about.Read more
Loneliness is something I feel I am an authority on, at least as a layman. There are several reasons for that, some of which I will get into later. The topic of loneliness was brought to my attention again by the CBS Sunday Morning show I just watched. It said that almost half of us feel lonely much of the time, and as the quote below shows the more you are attached to social media the more likely you are to be lonely.
So, why would someone with 3,000 Facebook friends feel lonely? “One is this idea of social comparison,” said Dr. Primack. “People are able to take 300, 400 pictures of themselves and post that one that makes them look like they are that much more thin or that much more attractive or that much more successful. The impression from the outside can easily be on social media, ‘Wow, I can’t measure up with my very normal life.’Source: CBS Sunday Morning
I have had that feeling about Facebook too. So many pages lead you to believe that you are the only one without an exciting life. I.E. you are the only one who is lonely. It is ironic that something tagged as “social media” is perhaps a primary cause for loneliness, especially among teenagers! They are one of the primary groups to have epidemic loneliness.
I have always been a loner, I was forty before I actually had my first serious relationship. I always used to say “Loneliness is being alone and not wanting to be.” I think that was a rationalization that helped me cope with the fact that I just couldn’t seem to seriously connect with those around me I’m still not very good at that, but at least, through life’s experiences, I have taken the edge off of it.
Of course, another source of my loneliness is being deaf. I’m sure that is the primary source for my particular brand of loneliness. I always say that I am not particularly lonely when I am by myself; I am the loneliest when I am in a group of people. I see all the interactions going on around me but don’t have a clue as to how to join in.
The third reason for my particular brand of loneliness is my wife. She is pretty much a recluse. She gets her joy from her daily activities and they don’t really include anyone but her. I love her and understand that is the way she is, particularly now that she is approaching eighty years.
So, with these three strikes, loneliness is a guaranteed part of my life. I think that is one of the reasons why I blog every day. I want the connection however trivial it might be. I cope pretty well with my loneliness but it looks like many, particularly those who are in earlier stages of life, aren’t doing as well.
Finishing off this post, I want to go back to the Sunday Morning show. We in the US are not the only ones who are lonely but we are likely the leader of the herd. Britain has deemed loneliness serious enough to warrant a Minister of Loneliness, whose job it is to find ways to combat it in their citizens. I don’t know about loneliness but I think we could do some really quick improvements in our country’s severe depression with a quick change in the Oval Office. It would help me beyond words.
This is the day of the year that we are supposed to reflect on the year just past and look to what we want to accomplish in the new year starting tomorrow. That is what this post is all about.
It seems that every day that passes now results in the Oval Office integrity sinking into the gutter further and further. Someone has actually taken the time to document that its current occupant has lied over 15,000 times in the last two years. I don’t think I can be exposed to his dishonesty much longer. As my fellow blogger John Pavlovitz said
2018 has been a long decade!
Maybe it is time to just ignore everything that is happening in politics and particularly inside the beltway? I am 72+ years old and if my genes prove true I have about five more years on this earth. Do I spent much of that time lamenting the ugliness of our times or do I fold into myself in a more reflective mode and just appreciate every day I have left?
Plainly speaking “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!”
I know I said I was going to stay optimistic in spite of these times but the fatigue factor is just too great. Things need to change for me. That is what I have been contemplating these last few days of 2018.
On another note, I have spent probably hundreds of hours on my photo portfolios putting them online only to see less than one view per day. I have come to the realization that no one is really interested in old people’s pictures or the stories around them. Do I shut that down and try to find something more satisfying to pass the hours previously dedicated to them? That is what I am studying on.
I know much of this talk here is due to depression creeping into my life once again. That seems to naturally happen in the winter months but it is more severe now than usual. I don’t want RJsCorner to become all about gloom. These are the questions I will be trying to answer for myself in the days ahead. If you have any suggestions I would be happy to hear them.
“You are not alone” is one of my Ten Pillars of life. The thought is that no matter what adversities you face, there is always someone who has had them before you and they can help you learn how to cope.
Asking for help is a hard thing to do for many of us. We just don’t want to admit to ourselves that we sometimes struggle through life, let alone broadcast that fact to the world! It takes a brave person to do that. One of those brave people is Michelle over at the Green Study. She recently came out with a heartwrenching post where she told the world about her problems with depression and the history of psychiatric problems in her family.
Here are some of her words in relation to the recent celebrity suicides:
I constantly struggle with my deafness, my Aspie characteristics and sometimes depression. I thank the Lord that I am not overwhelmed by these things as many are. I feel an inordinate need to show the world that they are not alone. Someone else struggles as you do. Just knowing that might help them pull back from the edge and seek help.
One of my hardest personal struggles was the period when I went deaf at the age of forty. I knew deafness was coming but I still was totally unprepared. When it did happen my ear doctor basically told me that he couldn’t help me anymore so just go away. I felt abandoned! I went through months of depression until I finally discovered the organization called ALDA (Assoc. of Late Deafened Adults). They helped me realize I was not alone.
Thanks, Michelle for letting others know that they are not alone with their problems…
Since this is my “aging week” here on RJsCorner, I will flat out tell you that I am thoroughly enjoying my “golden years” and yes they are proving to be golden. All my life I have fretted about the future.
- What will I be when I grow up?
- Is there some other occupation that I was really built for?
- Since I am a weird person, should I remain a bachelor?
- Should I try to get another job or just retire?
So many questions about life when you are young. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of my time so far. Well, almost every minute. But I often suffered to one degree or another with depression. I perceived myself as always dreaming of more but accepting less. Those worries and frets are finally behind me. From here on out, all there is left to do is enjoy it and I am determined to enjoy each and every day as it comes. One day at a time is my new motto in life.
The guy that currently occupies the Oval Office has declared bankruptcy several time throughout his business ventures. For him, it is just a standard thing to get out from under possibly unprofitible debt. So, I’m sure in his mind he is thinking why not just have the country declare bankruptcy instead of raising the debt ceiling. Believe it or not given the radical right agenda of his base that seems to be a real possibility for this current administration.
Here is a little about that from my friends at the NY Times:
The debt ceiling is politically imposed, and the decision not to raise it, and therefore to choose to default, is also political. It’s something America has avoided in the past. This time, though, will be different.
This country has hit the debt ceiling once, in 1979, and then largely by accident and only to a minor extent. But even that foot fault was estimated to cost the United States about 0.6 percent in higher interest costs for an indefinite period. More recently, congressional debt ceiling brinkmanship in 2011 led Standard & Poor’s to downgrade the credit rating of the United States.
An increase in Treasury interest rates of just 0.2 percent a year would cost the government about $400 billion over the next 10 years. It also would lead to higher borrowing costs for American businesses, because borrowing rates are set by reference to Treasury rates. Moreover, each month holders of tens of billions of dollars in valid claims against the United States would go unpaid, triggering a major recession.
How could this happen?? Well part of it like many other things going on now ia total inexperience and lack of competency. The other is the mindset of Mr. Trump. He just doesn’t see the devastation that would result. He only sees the money.
Personally a pretty big part of my retirement savings are in Saving and Treasury bonds. Those would of course disappear if bankruptcy is declared. I’m sure I am not alone in this condition. If this administration decides that Social Security checks are on the back burner for allocating existing funds then millions of senior citizens would also have to declare bankruptcy.
Then there is China. They currently hold billions and billions of bucks of our debt. How will they respond when they learn those bonds are worthless? I’m not an economist but I also think it would be a pretty sure thing that our national bankruptcy would result in an international depression era that would last for years. Since Mr. Trump doesn’t read or study anything I wonder if he is even thinking of those possibilities?
For those who say this is a “the sky is falling” scenario, you must realize that this could happen with the stroke of a pen in an unstable person’s hand. I wonder who that might be???