Happiness #7 – Why Are We Unhappy?

If we could just find the reason for why we are not happy maybe we can finally find happiness. That is the core thought for this post.


Most people, including me for much of my life, feel unhappy. Good things happen to us, but we just have no idea why happiness eludes us. From what my research has discovered, here are a few causes :

Not letting go of resentments

We look back on our lives to try to discover the source of our unhappiness. We often find it is because of resentment.

  • We complain about our bosses or work environment.
  • We constantly remind ourselves of poor parenting, or how someone has wronged us.
  • We doubt that anyone really understands or pain and how much hurt we have.

We hold on to these pains so long that they become an integral part of us! If you just stop and think about it, how could you NOT be unhappy if you are consumed by unhappy events?

You worry about things that you can’t control

We not only fret about our past reasons for unhappiness, we fret about the future too. Plainly speaking, too many of us get stuck in worry, even to the point of compulsion. It’s hard to be happy when you are consumed by worry, especially things that you have no control over. Most of us know that our worries are irrational and stifle happiness, but we just can’t seem to overcome it. In some ways, we worry because it at least temporarily makes us feel more in control.

We surround ourselves with people we don’t like

Many of us believe that if we just improved our mindset, or started thinking more positively, everything would be better. The trouble with that kind of thinking is that our life circumstances, especially the people we surround ourselves with, very much affect us. How we think does matter, but maybe our circumstances are a heavier contributor to our unhappiness than we imagine.

The people we surround ourselves with on the Internet are likely a big factor on our happiness. If we only read about things that worry us or are dark in nature, we will become what we read. Of course, organizations such as Fox News counts on that happening. Getting you addicted to unhappiness is essential to their continued success.

Why do so many people spend so much time around people they really can’t stand and make them unhappy?

β€œDon’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

β€” Howard Thurman

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