RetComLife #28 – Homestead vs Community Mindset

I have been in my retirement community now for over seven months, but much of me still remains at my homestead. RetComLife is much different from where I had been for a decade. It is more difficult than I imaged to throw off the homestead mindset.

Where I was once surrounded by peaceful forests, I am now surrounded by my fellow retirement community citizens. Where I once had seemingly unending chores to keep up the homestead, I now am relieved of those things, but still question what to replace them with? Due to my Aspie traits, I am just not a social animal, so joining all the various activities that my community offers is not a very viable option for me.

I do enjoy the casual encounters from my new friends here, and the staff are always making sure my needs are met, but…

I still have my blogging, which pleasurably takes up a good bit of that extra time. Working picture puzzles has increased some, but not enough to begin to fill the void. Then there is TV. Now that I am a 100% streaming beast, the choices seem limitless, but do I really want to make that the filler?

I can’t wait for Spring and the resulting µRV trips that I have planned for this year. This will be the first time in over a decade that I will be able to spend more than 2 – 3 days away from home. I wonder if reality will live up in my dreams? I must realize that they seldom do.


I wonder if I will ever be considered an “official” retirement community member? I just don’t seem to have the necessary skills, or maybe mindset, to make that happen. But, on the other hand, I have always enjoyed my own company, and for the most part, I don’t really need much else. This is an ongoing process, but I kinda thought I would be further along than I am right now. Maybe, as my wife used to say, I am just too impatient?

To close out this post, The picture at the top of this post is a stock photo from my paid photo site. I wonder if there are any pictures around that don’t have retirement community members always smiling? I haven’t been able to find any. How come that is?

4 thoughts on “RetComLife #28 – Homestead vs Community Mindset

  1. Perhaps you’ll find that being able to take off on one of your trips without worry about property upkeep will prove to be an important benefit of living in the retirement community, providing you with more freedom instead of less. I value my casual or “weak tie” encounters with neighbors when I’m out walking in our 45-home subdivision and care about the welfare of these people, but I don’t want to convert all these encounters into deep friendships. I wouldn’t want to in your situation, either.

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    1. I think you are right Linda, getting away without a specific return date will be fulfilling. Except for a couple of major destinations, I will play it by ear as to how long the trip will be. I have never been able to do that before, and no obligations such as lawn care and maintenance make that possible.

      During our marriage we have resided in three different communities as you describe, where we knew some neighbors by name, but that was about all. So, I shouldn’t be surprised about that.

      Thanks for your insight.

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  2. Good luck as you co to help your transition! I’ve found that it always takes me 1-2 years to get really settled somewhere and start developing solid relationships in a community. Of course then it was always time to move for us.

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Danielle, and welcome to RJsCorner. Except for the twenty years in the last house, I have averaged about 4 years in most places I have lived. Developing solid relationships is something I more dream of than is usually reality. Most are at a superficial level. That is due to my Aspie traits, so I have come to accept it. Presently, it is ups and downs here at my retirement community for me. I am thinking about looking elsewhere, but as you say, I should probably give it at least a couple of years before doing that. Thanks again.

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