Eliminating possibilities is how decisions are often made. There is seldom a “sure thing” answer to any problem. What we, or at least I, have to do is to start by eliminating things until there is only one choice. That is what I am doing right now.
I spent 3+ weeks traveling around much of this country to try to decide where I want to live my remaining years. When I was in Santa Fe New Mexico about seven years ago I was convinced that area of the country was my choice. When I visited it this time, it was a distinctly different feeling. What I see now was dry arid conditions where everything was brown or a very muted green. And forest fires constantly on the horizon. Yes, there are specific sites there that appeal to me, but not enough to give up the things I love about where I am presently living. So, the South and Southwest have been eliminated for a possible future home.
When I held my wife’s hand at the time she died almost a year ago I decided to just stay at the retirement community where she spent her last ten hospice days. I vowed that I would stay for at least a year before deciding if someplace else might be more preferred. That one-year period is in its last month.
In thinking about it these last twelve months, I have come to realize that wherever I live it is not going to solve underlying difficulties. They will always be there. My Aspie traits have always made social situations difficult for me. Where I live is not going to change that. Being deaf is isolating, that has nothing to do with “where”. Taking the “where” out of the decision process just makes sense to me.
With that decision made, what are the other factors in deciding what to do?
- What makes me happy?
- What makes me feel fulfilled?
- What gives me purpose?
Does where, meaning what particular community, I live affect any of these things? I have to think about that some more and probably do a “pros vs cons” list to figure that out. I just can’t seem to work anything out without a list. 🥴
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated…