but very little about my successes.

After making this statement, I found it kinda depressing as if I concentrate of failures more than my successes. How negative that seems to be. It took a while to put these words in the proper context. Yeah, I am definitely outside the mainstream!

It finally came to me that I think so much about my failures because I believe that among those failures are even better successes, if I just put them in the right frame of mind. When I succeed at making a beautiful image, finally finding the right words, or creating something that wasn’t there before, it is a beautiful moment and I am proud of my accomplishments. But then it is time to move on to other challenges. Many of those “other challenges” are about reexamining things that didn’t go as I had expected the first time.

I admit that I have extensive lists of things that I want to look at some more. Maybe there is a jewel hidden in the existing cow pie? When I finally find that jewel it is usually more rewarding than what I got right the first time. Maybe this is just another case where my weirdness shines through. Being outside the mainstream is a very rewarding place to be, even if it is not so peaceful.