In this fourth post of the Narcissist Project I want to discuss what an NPD Narcissist fears the most and that is loss of favor or respect, they simply cannot accept that their views are not the absolutely right ones. Here is a little about that from one of my sources:
What do narcissists fear/ What hurts narcissists?
Narcissists can likely be expected to fear things that represent losing power, influence and favor, since those are the things they desperately feel they must have. However, the expression of narcissists’ emotions don’t often take the form of noticeable fear. Many narcissists appear to deny having fears. They will usually insist they’re not afraid in the least, and they appear to be covering up more vulnerable emotions such as fear and sadness with emotions that suggest more threatening or unfazed responses, such as anger, denial and indifference.
One exception to this pattern would be those narcissists who use pity to manipulate. Expressing fear and other vulnerable emotions can help a narcissist gain control over your behavior and get you to do what they want or stop questioning them/ asking for consideration. Narcissists know that when you feel sorry for them, they have a lot of power over you. It’s very common for a narcissist who is being held accountable for mistreating others to suddenly turn the tables and play the martyr, the victim, or the innocent
Keys, Drew (2012-04-21). Narcissists Exposed – 75 Things Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know (pp. 27-28). Light’s House Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Fear of losing control or even worse being rejected simply strikes panic in a narcissist. They will do almost anything to get it back. One of those methods is to declare “poor me, I am being treated unfairly”. They will use whatever tools they can to get back the power over others that they MUST have.
Strangely another of the characteristics of a narcissist is that they deny even having fear when in reality it is one of their strongest emotions. Fear is a weakness to them and they simply don’t have any weaknesses in their own minds. Many times narcissists are made by the conditions of their childhood. If one of their parents was a narcissist it more likely that they will become narcissist.
The current Oval Office Occupant (CO3) father was a millionaire who like his son often gained his wealth at the expense of others. According to Wikipedia Fred Trump, the father was investigated by a U.S. Senate committee for wartime profiteering, and by the U.S. Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division for civil rights violations. It was said that several of Woody Guthrie’s songs about slum landlords was inspired the elder Trump. Was he a narcissist? I don’t know..
On a side note, Narcissists are not stupid, they learn to manipulate others and get what they want by studying “normal” people and mimicking them. Of course, they will never reveal that they live in a place of fear because of all of the layers of defense mechanisms they have constructed around themselves. Anger is often times the manifestation of fear in a narcissist.